1265 bloor - avoid like the plague

[ChristineM]

I had a couple of hours to burn on Bloor street today and being the single-minded lemming that i was... simply started walking down bloor west in search of a mp.

Walked by Nona's.. but I'd never been intrigued by mid-aged european women... walked by 1240 bloor but i'd already been there before. Had been intrigued by 1265 bloor for a while now because of their ad (promising both asian and european girls and by their price)... I had a session with a largish russian girl about 6 months ago which had been average at best... but i recalled that she offered "services" that sounded interesting if I had a condom... (yeah I know it's too much detail but what do i care? I hope the LE visit them at this point). So pocketing the condom in my jeans i walked up those awful stairs (the mp is unmarked on the outside... )

Greeted by a woman claiming to be oriental at the top of the stairs. The only time she had been oriental was probably in another incarnation. But the lights being dim... and me being frozen... I decided to stay. The mp was situated in the 2nd floor of a house and it was fairly cosy + clean. THe bed was covered with a paper sheet (more on that later).

In all honesty... the massage was not absolutely horrible. Tho it only lasted about 5 mins. Having had a good look at her face... I've now decided that the mpa is probably a cross between Cruella and a dalmation... So I wasn't about to pay for any extras. Luckily (and perhaps a little insultingly), none was offered either. Teasing was non-existent and upon the flip she grasped my dink so tightly that jaws of life wouldn't save them... and she began the release.

Having a feeling that she's trying to rush me out of the mp in under 10 mins (thereby establishing a new personal low for time spent in mp in a 30 min session), I stubbornly resisted any urge to cum - not that it was hard holding it in with HER doing the deed.

With surgical precision, she proceeded with THE most mechanical, unenthusiastic release I've EVER had... The ultimate insult came when i finally cummed... She bend over, ripped off a piece of that PAPER SHEET UNDER ME and wiped me with it!!! WTF!!!

Total experience lasted: 20 mins (given massage lasted about 4:30 mins)
Experience rated: slightly above getting your dink caught in the zipper and slightly below being accidentically licked in the balls by your pet (not that i have one)
Repeat? Yes ... Only if all women (and prettier men) were extinct and both my arms were broken and my sperm was needed to save mankind and she was absolutely the only left available...

 

[Arlo]

I was there a few months ago and saw an oriental MPA ( she has since left the spa ) and I left very happy.

With all due respect you chose basic and if my memory serves me right they charge $30 for basic. What did you expect ?

I have seen the Russian too..good thing you didn't bother to return. Pretty face and nice boobs but very rushed, uninspired service and she has a habit of chewing gum during the session which I find really annoying.

 

[Stephen K]

Leery, sorry about your bad experience but that is one funny review.

 

[Gep]

I couldn't stop laughing..... sorry pal....thank you for taking one for the team.

 

[Chris]

one of the funnier reviews...thanks for the entertainment...

 

[oneclickwonder]

you mean you don't like dog-faced-gremlins trying to rip your dick off?

 

[mikezz]

this mpa gave me my release standing near my knees (meaning I can't get any sort of contact even if i wanted some - which i didn't). No extra were offered or discussed at any point.
So she was the dog-faced gremlin trying to rip off my penis AND she's frigid too.

The sad thing about living downtown is that most places are $40/30 and the quality of girls are not subantially higher than 1265 bloor (whereas the quality of the service may improve somewhat).

My previous visit wasn't horrible ... but i'd have to be pretty stupid to try this place again

 

[carmenlafond]

It's a good thing you walked by Nona's. stopped b yesterday and and immediately turned around and walked out.

 

[Meta]

Hey Thunder. What was wrong with Nona's new place? Details please!

 

[Angelique]

A very funny review.... I couldn't stop laughing....


Good work, sorry you took one for the team - thx for sharing.

- Hex