25 ways to tell your grown up.

[Maria]

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food then beer in the Reviewidge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your Reviewiends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go Reviewom 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relative feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time TACO BELL closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog science diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in Reviewont of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your Reviewiend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit, what the hell happened?”

 

[Hermes]

Can't see any of the images but....

I will NEVER grow up!

 

[beach heaven]

I fixed it Meg. Hope you can read it now.

Feel Reviewee to add more to the list.

 

[Kinomaru]

26. Realizing that trying anything other than missionary is akin to a workout
27. Waking up in the morning and it's still dark
28. Putting out the garbage leaves you breathless
29. Falling asleep in the lazy boy during Jeopardy
30. One double scotch and your tipsy

 

[Debi]

31 old people jokes, start to irk you
32 unsure whether to flirt or not because you wonder if she's putting you in the 'dirty old man' category

 

[Dragonsking91]

33. Your son starts to remind you of you when you were his age.
34. You are now driving a Dodge Caravan instead of a Camaro.
35. The "love of your life" or "soul mate" is now the "mother of your children" or "the wife."
36. When you go to a concert, (now very rarely), it's not to see AC/DC, but the Philharmonic Orchestra.
37. You never get carded anymore unless it's to see if you qualify for a senior's discount.

 

[FREE ARIZONA RB-1070]

35. You are now driving a Camero instead of a mini-van

 

[Kenji]

38. You do actually have shoes older than the person you are speaking to.
39. Your closet actually contains more than one cardigan.
40. The number of times you get up to pee exceeds the number of hours you actually sleep.
41. When you scratch your head, you touch more scalp than hair.
42. You have two waist sizes - one where your pants start, and one where your pants settle.
43. A sports related injury is more likely to happen when reaching for the remote to see the other game.
44. When deciding between a nap and a night out, naps generally win.
45. You think of bran as a food group.
46. When a bottle of wine costs more than your first car.
47. You plan a journey based on the number of rest stops along the way.
48. When the length of your arm no longer is within your focal range.
49. You cringe at the thought of your own toenails.
50. You start to envy people who go around malls in scooters.

 

[Pompal 09.]

51. You consider walking the malls to be exercise.

52. Now you actually look forward to vacations with the family.

53. "I dunno" is no longer an acceptable reply to questions.

54. Having mustard in the Reviewidge is not a luxury item anymore.

55. Driving a Toyota is viewed as a "smpe and responsible" decision.

56 Drving two Toyotas is viewed as a VERY "smpe and responsible" decision.

57. You ask yourself "am I too old for her" as you contemplate the next lady you want to visit with while logged onto massageplanet...

58. You actually start to record the gas mileage your car gets.

59. While driving by Home Depot with your wife you are able to relate to Will ferrell Reviewom "Old School."

 

[2hot4u69]

60. When you have a nap, people jostle your shoulder to make sure you aren't dead.
61. The top of your pants gets closer to your nipples every year.
62. In the battle between comfort and style, style never wins.
63. Shoes without laces are a real bonus.
64. Things your dad said to you finally make sense.
65. Kids approach you on the street and ask you about life during pioneer days.
66. You're angry and can't remember why.
67. You know the Walmart greeters because you went to school with them.

 

[Dildo Gaggins]

68. You phone your parents to apologize for something you suddenly realize you regret
69. You use an acronym in place of a swear word
70. Your style and brand of clothes is the lowest priced in the store and never sold out.
71. You slow down for garage sales.
72. You pass on a charity bikini car wash because you prefer to do a proper job yourself.
73. You stick to your grocery list.
74. Your sock drawer contains no singles.
75. You're burglarized and the thief doesnt touch your TV or Stereo. (Yes this really happened to me).
76. Your retro 80's clothes come Reviewom the back of your closet and not a thrift shop.
77. You remember any host of The Tonight Show besides Jay or Johnny
78. You own a box of dried out pens that are "still good"
79. You've been divorced longer than you were married.
80. Your favorite soap, razor, shampoo, cologne, etc... has discontinued production and you are searching high and low to hoard the last of it.

 

[James Zaworski]

I was hoping you'd contribute to this thread Old Dog. Good stuff..... as usual.


81. When you climb into bed with your wife, you start hoping she has a headache.
82. When you sneeze, you throw your back out.
83. Hair stops growing where it should grow, and starts growing where it never grew before.
84. "Life begins at 40." becomes your new credo.
85. Much to your own chagrin, you find yourself starting sentences with, "When I was your age...."

 

[Young@58]

86. You get angry that today's computer graphics make all your childhood favourite movies look like crap.
87. You've actually read an article about colon health.
88. You think about doing a somersault, then come to a realization that it would hurt to much.
89. You actually lament that your ass doesn't hold up your pants anymore.
90. You consider the walk to and Reviewom your car, exercise.
91. Morning wood is not an embarrassment, it's an accomplishment.
92. You remember when there were only three bald guys in the world: Yul Brynner, Telly Savalas and Mr. Clean.
93. The only porn in your collection is um.... hairy.
94. You remember the first time that Oprah was fat.
95. You throw out your shoulder by scratching your knee.

 

[Pompal 09.]

96. you look at old people and think they're no that old.
97. you can't remember what it is you are looking for.
98. you either have to sit down to pee or take half a viagra so you don't dribble on your shoes.

 

[Jack P]

99. You remember when we (Canadians) used to have paper money instead of one and two dollar coins.

100. What do you mean Guns "N" Roses is on classic rock radio

101. You start using the phrases "in my day" or "remember when."

102. You start replying to a thread on massageplanet entitled "25 ways to tell your grown up."

 

[Pompal 09.]

103. You meet someone for the first time, they repeat their name three times and you still call them "bud."
104.You can spend hours surfing the internet looking for a new oatmeal recipe.
105. You start a sentence with "I remember when.." then stop because even though you SHOULD remember, you don't.
106. You remember when ice cream came in three flavours and none of them had chunks of anything but Revieweezer ice.
107. You watched TV shows in black and white because there was only black and white TV.
108. You doze off mid sentence.
109. You look at a picture of a scary old guy and then realize it's a mirror.
110. You have more than one flavour of Metamucil in the cupboard.