Oh, where to start...I was supposed to leave San Juan Monday at 9am, but apparently there was a little snow here in Boston on Sunday. Other airlines cancelled hundreds of flights preemptively (should that be hyphenated? I can't decide), but Jet Blue didn't, and my son and I spent Sunday afternoon and evening trying in vain to get through to them by phone.
Online was still showing our SJU/JFK flight as on time, although they did cancel my JFK/BOS leg. Called the petsitter, the airport shuttle, my sister who worries too much (it's genetic, we can't help it), and tried at least a bajillion times to get through to Jet Blue. Unsuccessfully, and I will be understated and say I was seriously aggravated about it. This was a predicted storm...if you're not going to let me reroute myself online, adjust your phone staff accordingly so you don't piss off people who, until that moment, had been quite pleased with your airline and planning on flying it more often.
At 3am my cell phone rang, Jet Blue saying my flight was canceled. I had a brief moment of elation when the recording said "to speak to a representative, press 0" Halleluiah sweet mother of Jesus, I'm gonna get to talk to someone!!!
arty: I pressed 0 and was promptly disconnected. This did not please me.
I called the front desk and kept the room for another night. Kid decided my call must have been about my BOS leg, as he didn't get a call. Yeah, ok kid, you go ahead and plan on flying into JFK during a blizzard. An hour later his phone rang, of course it was Jet Blue. Suddenly this all became an issue to him because he had to work today, and apparently until that moment the silly boy had really believed he was going to get home on time. LOLOL kids, eh?
At 6am he actually got through to being on Hold with Jet Blue, which was a big step up from the day before. I had been thinking of jumping in a cab and going to the airport to rebook, but he was on hold, so I didn't. When he was still on hold 2 1/2 hours later I thought, this would be done if I'd just gone to the airport...so I got in a cab, and of course about 2 miles before we got there I got a text from the kid, he was talking to Jet Blue. Simultaneous Yippy!!!! and Sigh, I have to pay this cab $40 for nothing.
By the time I got back to the hotel, kid had cancelled with Jet Blue and found himself flights yesterday on Airtran, and flights for me today. I can't say I was unhappy at the prospect of the night to myself, and I didn't wait until he was in the cab to start the celebratory banana daquiris. But then he left...I should explain I am very bad at Goodbyes. They sadden me deeply, and never more than when it's my son I'm saying goodbye to. So I thought some more daquiris would cheer me up, and for awhile it worked quite well. But I made the mistake of having One Too Many, and then I could feel the beginning of the terrible metamorphasis...from Drunk Horny Girl to Drunk Crying Girl. We all love her, don't we? :roll:
So I decided it best to confine myself to the room for the rest of the night, thinking at least I'd get to sleep early. Silly me, I was awake until 3. My flight wasn't until 5pm so I thought at least I'd get some sun time, but it was raining when I got up at 6. Not feeling very well at all, to be honest.
I'm completely rambling and I'm sorry to anyone who is still reading this. Not sorry enough to stop typing, but sorry.
Ok...got to the airport in plenty of time, found my gate, wandered around, sat at the gate with some trashy movie magazines and my ipod cranked. Which was probably how I missed the announcement about the gate change, but for once my compulsive need to double check things actually proved useful and I did manage to actually get on the plane.
I was in the row in front of the emergency exit, which totally SUCKS because the seats don't recline. This is an issue for me because I have OldLadyBackItis, and it was about halfway into a four-hour flight that it started to hurt enough to make me consider a muscle relaxer...but I had already taken a xanax and didn't want to fall asleep. I used to like to sleep on planes, but about five years ago I did that and woke myself up doing that sleep-snort thing, and the guy across the aisle almost peed himself laughing. So now I try not to fall asleep on a plane.
In addition to the Recline issue, I was also having Legroom problems. The thing I loved about JetBlue was the Extra Legroom seats...I'm tall, and in a standard coach seat if the person in front of me reclines their seat, it hits my knees. I was fortunate that the gentleman in front of me only put his back a little. And, I try to be considerate of the person behind me when deciding how far to recline my own seat...when I'm fortunate enough to be able to.
Oh hey, that reminds me...his wife was sitting across the aisle from him, and wow she must be Queen of Something. First, she had a carryon bag that was clearly too big to fit under the seat, but she didn't want to put it in the overhead. She had it jammed between her knees and the seat in front of her, and when the flight attendant told her it had to be under the seat she started arguing with him about it. Apparently the concept of the bag becoming a lethal projectile in the event of an incident was just too much for her to grasp. Finally it went into the overhead, but she wasn't done being too special to have to play by the rules.
She and her friend stood in the aisle chatting even after the second announcement about not congregating in the aisle or near the cockpit. At one point, after the snack service was done, the flight attendant was up by the cockpit and she literally snapped her fingers at him, like he was a servant. When he didn't respond promptly enough, she stormed up the aisle to demand a glass of ice. When she was done with it, she handed it to him as he was passing to do something else, because apparently Royalty can't wait for the trash bag to come by.
Did I mention the adorable 18month old who was sitting on her mom's lap next to me? Adorable when she was asleep, I mean. I am always of two minds when I see small children in the boarding area...I'm a mom, I know how hard it is to travel with little ones, and I am sympathetic to the parents. On the other hand, I always say a little prayer that they're not sitting near me.
If I knew how to start a poll, I'd do it right now: How much extra would you pay per leg to be on a Child-free flight? I thought about this a lot today, because both flights were full of cranky kids. I was thinking $10 when the day started, but by the time the Diaper Incident happened (I'll get to it, don't worry) I thought $500 was perfectly reasonable.
Ok....so finally, land at BWI. Sheer relief at being out of that unreclined seat, and I was really glad I was in row 7 for the second flight. At least that's what I thought, until I double-checked my boarding pass and realized I was in the exact same row, in front of the exit row. And even better, now instead of the aisle, I'm flying bitch. sigh sigh sigh. I got to the row and it was empty, so I dutifully took my seat and hoped fervently for my seatmates to be grownups. I was delighted to realize they were not only grownups, they were a couple...so, being the kind person that I am, I asked if they would prefer to sit next to each other? Why yes, yes they would, so I was happy to at least have the aisle seat back.
Before I tell the next part I should explain that by this time it was 9:30pm, and I was really tired, my back really hurt, I'd been wearing panties for over eight hours, and I was really cranky. So when the bitch in front me of me slammed her seat back into my knees, that pissed me off. A lot. So I figured if my knees were going to hurt anyway, there was no reason for her to have a comfortable flight.
I lowered and closed my tray a couple times (ok, I might have slammed it), and she responded by leaning back harder. Realizing she could feel it every time I shifted my knees, I crossed and uncrossed my legs, then it occurred to me it was better to just tap my foot to the beat of the ipod. Constantly. It was childish, I know...but what a moment of pure triumph when the bitch moved her seat up.
One row up, across the aisle, was a young couple with a 2yo boy. They were obviously tense and frazzled when we boarded, and after about two minutes I could see why...the kid was a screamer. He did stop when they gave up and let him stand up and jump on the seat, which didn't seem like a good idea to me but hey, I had no say in the matter. Doesn't anyone use Benadryl anymore?
Then the dad took a diaper and the kid and went to the front lavatory...I'm not sure exactly what happened in there, but it wasn't 30 seconds after he closed the door that it opened again and I saw him gesturing frantically to the flight attendant for paper towels. I'm sure he was speaking as well, but I had the ipod on so can only give you the visual report.
He disappeared back into the bathroom and the flight attendant came rushing down the aisle, spoke to the mom, and she jumped out of her seat and went into the bathroom as well. Eventually she emerged with the kid, but the husband must've been ten minutes cleaning the bathroom. Which I give him credit for, some people would've left it for the crew. But I was a little dismayed to see him returning to his seat carrying a plastic baggy...with the poopy diaper in it. The poopy STINKY diaper...I can now verify that even with two plastic bags around it, a poopy diaper will stink up an entire airplane. :shock:
Fortunately I was distracted from the smell by keeping a good beat with my foot, and it was only an hour flight. And thank God for the ipod! :great:
Online was still showing our SJU/JFK flight as on time, although they did cancel my JFK/BOS leg. Called the petsitter, the airport shuttle, my sister who worries too much (it's genetic, we can't help it), and tried at least a bajillion times to get through to Jet Blue. Unsuccessfully, and I will be understated and say I was seriously aggravated about it. This was a predicted storm...if you're not going to let me reroute myself online, adjust your phone staff accordingly so you don't piss off people who, until that moment, had been quite pleased with your airline and planning on flying it more often.
At 3am my cell phone rang, Jet Blue saying my flight was canceled. I had a brief moment of elation when the recording said "to speak to a representative, press 0" Halleluiah sweet mother of Jesus, I'm gonna get to talk to someone!!!
arty: I pressed 0 and was promptly disconnected. This did not please me.I called the front desk and kept the room for another night. Kid decided my call must have been about my BOS leg, as he didn't get a call. Yeah, ok kid, you go ahead and plan on flying into JFK during a blizzard. An hour later his phone rang, of course it was Jet Blue. Suddenly this all became an issue to him because he had to work today, and apparently until that moment the silly boy had really believed he was going to get home on time. LOLOL kids, eh?
At 6am he actually got through to being on Hold with Jet Blue, which was a big step up from the day before. I had been thinking of jumping in a cab and going to the airport to rebook, but he was on hold, so I didn't. When he was still on hold 2 1/2 hours later I thought, this would be done if I'd just gone to the airport...so I got in a cab, and of course about 2 miles before we got there I got a text from the kid, he was talking to Jet Blue. Simultaneous Yippy!!!! and Sigh, I have to pay this cab $40 for nothing.
By the time I got back to the hotel, kid had cancelled with Jet Blue and found himself flights yesterday on Airtran, and flights for me today. I can't say I was unhappy at the prospect of the night to myself, and I didn't wait until he was in the cab to start the celebratory banana daquiris. But then he left...I should explain I am very bad at Goodbyes. They sadden me deeply, and never more than when it's my son I'm saying goodbye to. So I thought some more daquiris would cheer me up, and for awhile it worked quite well. But I made the mistake of having One Too Many, and then I could feel the beginning of the terrible metamorphasis...from Drunk Horny Girl to Drunk Crying Girl. We all love her, don't we? :roll:
So I decided it best to confine myself to the room for the rest of the night, thinking at least I'd get to sleep early. Silly me, I was awake until 3. My flight wasn't until 5pm so I thought at least I'd get some sun time, but it was raining when I got up at 6. Not feeling very well at all, to be honest.
I'm completely rambling and I'm sorry to anyone who is still reading this. Not sorry enough to stop typing, but sorry.
Ok...got to the airport in plenty of time, found my gate, wandered around, sat at the gate with some trashy movie magazines and my ipod cranked. Which was probably how I missed the announcement about the gate change, but for once my compulsive need to double check things actually proved useful and I did manage to actually get on the plane.
I was in the row in front of the emergency exit, which totally SUCKS because the seats don't recline. This is an issue for me because I have OldLadyBackItis, and it was about halfway into a four-hour flight that it started to hurt enough to make me consider a muscle relaxer...but I had already taken a xanax and didn't want to fall asleep. I used to like to sleep on planes, but about five years ago I did that and woke myself up doing that sleep-snort thing, and the guy across the aisle almost peed himself laughing. So now I try not to fall asleep on a plane.
In addition to the Recline issue, I was also having Legroom problems. The thing I loved about JetBlue was the Extra Legroom seats...I'm tall, and in a standard coach seat if the person in front of me reclines their seat, it hits my knees. I was fortunate that the gentleman in front of me only put his back a little. And, I try to be considerate of the person behind me when deciding how far to recline my own seat...when I'm fortunate enough to be able to.
Oh hey, that reminds me...his wife was sitting across the aisle from him, and wow she must be Queen of Something. First, she had a carryon bag that was clearly too big to fit under the seat, but she didn't want to put it in the overhead. She had it jammed between her knees and the seat in front of her, and when the flight attendant told her it had to be under the seat she started arguing with him about it. Apparently the concept of the bag becoming a lethal projectile in the event of an incident was just too much for her to grasp. Finally it went into the overhead, but she wasn't done being too special to have to play by the rules.
She and her friend stood in the aisle chatting even after the second announcement about not congregating in the aisle or near the cockpit. At one point, after the snack service was done, the flight attendant was up by the cockpit and she literally snapped her fingers at him, like he was a servant. When he didn't respond promptly enough, she stormed up the aisle to demand a glass of ice. When she was done with it, she handed it to him as he was passing to do something else, because apparently Royalty can't wait for the trash bag to come by.
Did I mention the adorable 18month old who was sitting on her mom's lap next to me? Adorable when she was asleep, I mean. I am always of two minds when I see small children in the boarding area...I'm a mom, I know how hard it is to travel with little ones, and I am sympathetic to the parents. On the other hand, I always say a little prayer that they're not sitting near me.
If I knew how to start a poll, I'd do it right now: How much extra would you pay per leg to be on a Child-free flight? I thought about this a lot today, because both flights were full of cranky kids. I was thinking $10 when the day started, but by the time the Diaper Incident happened (I'll get to it, don't worry) I thought $500 was perfectly reasonable.
Ok....so finally, land at BWI. Sheer relief at being out of that unreclined seat, and I was really glad I was in row 7 for the second flight. At least that's what I thought, until I double-checked my boarding pass and realized I was in the exact same row, in front of the exit row. And even better, now instead of the aisle, I'm flying bitch. sigh sigh sigh. I got to the row and it was empty, so I dutifully took my seat and hoped fervently for my seatmates to be grownups. I was delighted to realize they were not only grownups, they were a couple...so, being the kind person that I am, I asked if they would prefer to sit next to each other? Why yes, yes they would, so I was happy to at least have the aisle seat back.
Before I tell the next part I should explain that by this time it was 9:30pm, and I was really tired, my back really hurt, I'd been wearing panties for over eight hours, and I was really cranky. So when the bitch in front me of me slammed her seat back into my knees, that pissed me off. A lot. So I figured if my knees were going to hurt anyway, there was no reason for her to have a comfortable flight.
I lowered and closed my tray a couple times (ok, I might have slammed it), and she responded by leaning back harder. Realizing she could feel it every time I shifted my knees, I crossed and uncrossed my legs, then it occurred to me it was better to just tap my foot to the beat of the ipod. Constantly. It was childish, I know...but what a moment of pure triumph when the bitch moved her seat up.
One row up, across the aisle, was a young couple with a 2yo boy. They were obviously tense and frazzled when we boarded, and after about two minutes I could see why...the kid was a screamer. He did stop when they gave up and let him stand up and jump on the seat, which didn't seem like a good idea to me but hey, I had no say in the matter. Doesn't anyone use Benadryl anymore?
Then the dad took a diaper and the kid and went to the front lavatory...I'm not sure exactly what happened in there, but it wasn't 30 seconds after he closed the door that it opened again and I saw him gesturing frantically to the flight attendant for paper towels. I'm sure he was speaking as well, but I had the ipod on so can only give you the visual report.
He disappeared back into the bathroom and the flight attendant came rushing down the aisle, spoke to the mom, and she jumped out of her seat and went into the bathroom as well. Eventually she emerged with the kid, but the husband must've been ten minutes cleaning the bathroom. Which I give him credit for, some people would've left it for the crew. But I was a little dismayed to see him returning to his seat carrying a plastic baggy...with the poopy diaper in it. The poopy STINKY diaper...I can now verify that even with two plastic bags around it, a poopy diaper will stink up an entire airplane. :shock:
Fortunately I was distracted from the smell by keeping a good beat with my foot, and it was only an hour flight. And thank God for the ipod! :great:
:
uch:
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