Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

[Office Monkey]

Customer:
"I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator:
"Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer:
"It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator:"Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Samsung Electronics

Caller:
"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator:
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller:
"On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator:
"I think it means the telephone point on the wall".

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller:
"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
Operator:
"Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller:
"I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator:
"I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller:
"Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator:
"Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller:
"Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm havin