Ad Translations

[Sybarite]

Saw this posted on Twitter. Harsh, but very funny.

Didn't get the "AA" entry... what does that mean?

Enjoy...

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After many years in the hobby and many thousands of ads read, I have compiled the following translations of commonly used provider buzzwords to their actual English meanings...

Curvy: Fat.

Thick: Fat.

Juicy: Fat.

MILF: Old and fat.

Petite: Short and fat.

Fun Sized: Usually short, always fat.

BBW: Impossibly fat.

Snow Bunny: White.

Mixed: Black.

Exotic: Black.

From the Islands: Black.

Asian: Actually Asian, occasionally black.

No AA: My pimp is black.

Independent: My pimp will stay out of sight during your visit.

I'm Mobile: My pimp will drive me to your place and case the joint during our session.

Open Minded: 3 hole Friendly.

Squirter: I'll piss on you.

Party Friendly: Junkie.

Trucker Friendly: I will suck your dick behind a Wendy's dumpster.

Deposit Required: Scam artist.

Verification Required: Scam artist and / or blackmailer.

Upscale: Same lousy service, but higher price.

Discreet: 15 guys visit me here every day and I don't want the hotel manager kicking me out.

My Photos are Real: My photos are from 5 years and 50 lbs ago.

Text Only: I spent money on drugs instead of my phone bill and now I'm stuck using a free text app over my slum notel's wifi.

No Cops: I don't understand how the law works.

I Love White Guys: Overpay me.

Mature Men Only: Overpay me and don't fuck me too hard.

Car dates only: I am out of dope and need money as soon as possible because I am dope sick and my dealer is waiting.

No Time Wasters: I will waste your time.

 

[lasslicker]

AA = African American