advice from women to men

[Captain Jawa]

Advice From Women To Men

>1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
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>2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
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>3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts.
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>4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
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>5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
>6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

>7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
>8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

>9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

>10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

>11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
>12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance -- in fact -- please do !!!
>13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" -- the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

>14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

>15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.

>16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

>17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.
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>18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?
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>19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
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>20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.