Airlines

[Weise Ente]

Lufthansa:

**************************************

Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the

captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the
ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but
were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies
and
Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we
would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the

non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers

are on the right side of the plane"

After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to
comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made
a
belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an
annoucement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean.All of the
swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits
and quickly
swim away from the plane.For all of the non-swimmers on the left side
of plane...

---THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA- "

Air INDIA.

**********************

"This is Captain Sharma speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to

welcome you aboard AIR INDIA flight 602 from Mumbai to London. We are
currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
aircraft,you will observe that both the starboard engines are on
fire. If you
look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the
port
wing has fallen off.""If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean,

you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving

at

you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air

stewardesses. This is a recorded message."

 

[Leatherwreck]

lol...bnice ones :