Subject: ZAPPY: SUMMER IS A DUDE
To: fredzed@softhome.net
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DEAR SIR: THIS E-MAIL IS COMING FROM THE OWNERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT OF ALPHA CARE MASSAGE SPA.
PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT A POST ON THE massageplanet.net CLAIMS THAT SUMMER IS A DUDE.
WE WOULD EXPECT THAT YOU ISSUE AN IMMEDIATE RETRACTION OF THIS STATEMENT, AND HAVE ALL THE APPROPRIATE NOTICES POSTED TO INFORM THE GENERAL PUBLIC OF THE TRUTH, SUMMER HAS NOT, AND WILL NEVER HAVE A PENIS.
FURTHERMORE WE WOULD EXPECT YOU TO DISCIPLINE MR, ZHAPPY AS TO HIS/HER DAMAGING COMMENTS.
SHOULD YOU REQUIRE AN E-MAIL FROM OUR CORPORATE SOLICITOR TO CONFIRM THE TRUTH OF OUR STATEMENT, IT WOULD BE OUR PLEASURE TO HAVE HIM REPLAY TO SAME.
I TRUST YOU WILL DEAL WITH THIS MATTER IN A TIMELY FASHION, AND ADVISE MR, ZAPPY TO BE CAUTIOUS OF THE RUMOURS HE/SHE SPREADS BECAUSE IT DOES AFFECT THE PERCEIVED SEXUALITY OF OTHERS.
WITH THANKS
Alphacare.
**this post was made under the Freedom of Satire Act, R.S.O. 1994**