and the moral of the story is....

[jutau00]

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parent to
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came
back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a
farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our
eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big
bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs
in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. Next little Sarah raised her
hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the
meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got
ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens
before they're hatched'."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?" Yes.
My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight
engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail
out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine
gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She
killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then
she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

Stay the f**k away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."