Another days wages shot

[lemonloveless]

Well, I was in Calgary for a few days last week and, as I do every visit, thought I'd go see my favorite for an hour of stress relief. I usually go to Northland as I've developed a good relationship there and there's no guess work. I know what to expect and they know what I expect. I've been a regular ever since they opened some 4 or 5 years ago, I keep going back because I'm never disappointed.

Any massage studio is only as good as your relationship with the masseuse so when I found out my all time favorite was away for a month, I decided to venture out and try elsewhere. It's a long drive from Northlands down to Refresh Studio in the south, but there is this one lady who works there who, IMHO is amazing. Her name is Ivana and I can't say enough. She is European, has an amazing body and the sweetest accent and a face to match. She is kind, understanding and very good at what she does. She kind of reminds me of Brandie, although Ivana is a little more petite.

Well, as luck would have it, no Ivana until the evening shift; too long to wait when you're in the mood. So, back in the car and off to Oasis Spa in the north. Another poster PM'd me a while back and highly recommended Sarah. I'd stopped in a few times on previous trips, but was always 'greeted' by not Sarah, but Gianna. Gianna is big and Gianna is mean. At the very mention of Sarah's name she gets even uglier. After a run in with her previously, I was smart enough to phone first and sure enough Sarah was working. When I finally made it back up to the north end of the city I was greeted by a very frriendly and accommodating Sarah. But, wouldn't you know, she only was free for a 1/2 hour and I never book for less than a full hour. After promising I'd be back another trip, I was back out the door and on the street.

Now, what to do... where to go? I remembered reading, I think it may have been in the Sun adverts, about a place on Edmonton Tr near 9th Ave N. Couldn't remember the name but I had driven near there on my latest trip from Refresh to Oasis. So, back down Edmonton Tr and I pull up in front of Comfort Zone. It is a house which has been made over into a massage studio, and quite nicely I must say. A big sign in the window said, "Welcome.. Come On In". And in I went.

I was greeted by a somewhat overweight although friendly enough attendant who tried to whisk me off into a room. I used the old, 'Where can I find a Bank Machine?" gambit so I could leave without having to tell her, "Thanks, but no thanks". Yeah, I know... I'm a wimp.

As I was leaving, she (who had obviously been given the same brush off by others) asked if I'd like to meet the other attendant on duty? I was sooooo sick of driving around only to be disappointed that I said there was absolutely nothing I'd like more. P***A came out with a nice smile to greet me. She was considerably smaller, though certainly not petite, and did have a nice smile and did seem friendly enough. So I said i'd love to book an hour with P***A.

Once I'd showered (It's a personal pet peave of mine, but I just hate walking through the reception area and down a hall to take a shower and then repeating the sojourn back to my room, again through reception, wearing nothing but a smile and a towel) However, I decided to try and put that all behind me and enjoy the session.

P***A came into the room and we agreed upon a 1 hour Reverse. I parted with 10 green ones and began the session by being a gentleman and helping her out of those obviously uncomfortable, baggy clothes. Sadly, the more layers that came of the more I regretted it. Although not much over 5' tall, she is anything other than petite. I had been mistaken thinking it was her clothes which were baggy. Nonetheless, I decided to make the best of it and try to have fun. After a weak and totally uninspired massage on her part, it was my turn to return the favor. My thinking was that, if I gave her a great and adventurous massage, she might see the merit in at least pretending to be involved. I never mentioned it earlier but this girl was completely unshaven. Now, a little fur isn't necessarily a bad thing, even a lot of fur can be cool, but folks... I'm talkin' a LOT of fur here! I was having horrible visions involving leg hold traps and sled dogs.

The mood was even more shaken by the uninterupted view I now had of a tatoo the size of a Thanksgiving Day turkey platter etched across her hide in the large, er small of her back. I couldn't make it all out but it appeared to be a stray cat and a motheaten cobra, both entrapped in the fan belt mechanism of a '68 Malibu. Now, did I mention there was an abundance of fur? What I saw frontally couldn't hold a candle to what forested the flip side. If there had have been a candle in the room, she was in definite peril of becoming a miniature re-enactment of 911. She would have gone up quicker than a tinder dry evergreen in Kamloops in July.

So, back on the slab for me. I just decided to weather this one out and hope I could close my eyes and my imagination would be enough to let me get through the session unscarred and partially satisfied. A quick glance at the clock showed me we still had 20 mins left and for one of the few times in my life that seemed an eternity to be locked in a room with a naked woman. P***A began a mechanical tug which bordered on the painful. I found myself thinking, "When oh when will this end?"... followed with, "Where oh where did I leave those leg hold traps?

Still, I did manage to propel my fantasy self to Northlands & Refresh while my poor bruised physical self withstood a beating on the slab at Comfort Zone. The end came, but not all too soon. Still there were 10 minutes left on what I am now positive was a broken clock. P***A, bless her soul, offered to 'massage me' for the final 10 minutes, oblivious of my desire to run down the hall and through reception, sans towel, if necessary, to shower this incident right outta my life as quickly as I could. So, massage she did.

Well, all things, good or bad, must come to an end, and end this mercifully did. Once showered I was, for the first time that day, glad to be back on the street. As I was leaving P***A made me promise to be sure and come back. I'm not sure if she overheard my response referencing Hell and below zero temperatures.

 

[Joe F]

Jesus Christ!

And to think The Exorcist was just voted scariest film of all time.

Voters obviously hadn't seen this film!

 

[gregtheripper]

lol... funny write up but sorry to hear that. nothing is worse than paying big $$$ for something hideous and have to sit through it too.... talk about double whammy... :{

if u're related to the loblaw family then i guess $$$ is no issue.... keep trying ;P

 

[Curley]

I just about peed myself laughing. At least you got a great story out of the ordeal. Although I use the head on my shoulders to make decisions & do my research - I do slip up once in a while as well.