BB,
I remember the story you told of what happened to you with your last bad experience. Really, reading that confirnmed in my mind some things which were only beginning to take form. I too am born a romantic and would love to find that real love. Yet I realize that what you say is true about finding love with a prostitute. But most importantly, you made the mistake of trying to treat her too nice, thinking that she would appreciate you more for it. I have made the same mistake, and only through sheer luck did not lose a lot of money. As has been said before you have to take the reins, be the man, and show that you expect to be treated like the boss. Otherwise they won't respect you, they will take your money and laugh in your face. Also, you really have to be there with them or take them with you (which is a risky business, as well).
However, having said that, I must point out that there is a big difference between love and romance, as the words are normally used. I can have a perfectly wonderful romantic night with a girl, Thai or farang, that I have absolutely no feelings of love for, and already know that I will kiss her off in the morrow, with never a second thought for her, nor a pang of remorse or guilt over it. Well, maybe just a wee pang if she is a sweet one. It is a game that I like very much. It is a kind of mutal game of make-believe. Some women now how to play it very well. When you were a child, didn't you ever "play house" with the girls, where you pretended you were the father and she was the mother. It was make-believe. It was play-acting, and it was wonderful fun. Why let the children have all the fun? Sex is not as much fun, it can feel very cold and hollow, when it is only physical pleasure. But when you can combine the physical pleasure with the fun of playing like children, imagining that you are Adam and Eve, so to speak, the only man and woman on earth in your own private world for just a night, it can be quite wonderful! :biggrinlo
As you well know, some BGs are wonderful actresses. The one I spoke of in BKK, gave a performance worthy of an Academy Award and I applaud her. Sex is so much better with the warm fuzzy feelings that romance brings. Now I admit that if I stay with the same one for a week and she really treats me well, then it is difficult to kiss her off. And sometimes I am well stuck with the blues when I get home because I have fallen for another one. And that is why it is not an easy game, and that is the price that I sometimes must pay. But the alternative of "only a business transaction" is not what I want and not what I will settle for.
Look at it this way. The words to an old song are "Love the One You're With." And another song, "Love Me Tender." So if you are doing business and the business involves sex, and sleeping together,and companionship, then why not make it tender, why not give the love that you can for a single night, to love and honor that other person as a worthwhile human being, worthy of all the warmth and compassion that one person can give another in a single nighttime. That is what romance is to me. It is about showing the other person that they are worth the effort it takes to try to make them feel good, not just physically but about herself as a person. It is saying, "You are a good person, worthy of my love." That doesn't mean that you are in love or that you are going to combine your lives together. It would be absurd to conclude that on the basis of a night together. It is just saying, "We have this short time together, let's make it as good as we can for each other." Why not? Is it better to have a cold experience because you are afraid that you might feel something for each other?
Well, any preacher would crucify me for saying this, but the way I look at it, it is like what Christ said, "Love one another." Even if it is only for one night. That is what romance means to me. Yes, it is love with out commitment. Is that wrong? Is it better to stay in the cold, than to risk getting burned because you got to close to the flame? I think not.
JayBee