Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.
โHey buddy, howโd you get your shiner?โ
โWell, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was ****inโ hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said โtwo PICKets to TITTsburgโ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? Howโd you get yours?โ
โSomething similar actaully! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, โHoney, can you please pass the peas?โ But I slipped up and said โYou ****ing bitch you ruined my life!โ