Charging for Massage

[Desk3Bound]

I'm about to embark on a question here that makes me feel very vulnerable...mostly to criticism but I'm hoping that by exposing this wackiness, it will get resolved.

I have a WICKED issue with charging for massage (and Reiki). I've been at this for 5 years now and it is still no more comfortable for me than it was when asking for money in student clinic. To address this issue in school, they required us students to ask for and accept payment (although the money was not for us to keep personally, it was just the exercise that was important).

It doesn't matter whether I'm working with people or animals, the problem remains for me. I would prefer someone else handle the money exchange. It was a perfect situation for me to work in a spa or chiropractic office where all I had to worry about was the massage/patient intake/soap notes/patient home self-care, etc.

I am much more comfortable volunteering my time with massage (which I do regardless). Volunteering - or not charging - seems to relieve some sort of pressure for me.

Now, I'll also share with you that in our household I handle all the finances because I like it and I'm good at it. So what is the big issue with massage? When I discuss this, or even now as I am writing about this, it sounds absurd because I highly value massage therapy. And, I highly value myself and my time..and my skills. I don't have any problem with paying for massage, and received it for many years prior to going to school.

I love marketing (not necessarily love selling myself) and creating all the brochures, newsletters, logos, researching, playing with facts and figures, daily business practices, and coming up with the correct wording for my materials. So, I don't feel it is a lack of business practice knowledge. Actually, I love business. It is the meshing of the two that seems to be the problem for me.

The only thing that keeps coming to me is that massage is very intuitive for me (even in a therapeutic setting) and feels like I'm giving someone a gift and then asking them to pay for it. I need to get out of this mode of thinking. Because people can sense uneasiness, and if they sense I'm uneasy about charging then they'll most likely be uneasy about paying.

I had one client ask me what I would charge (she was buying a GC for someone else) for me to travel to her friend's home and work on her and her husband. This was about a 45 min drive one way from my practice. Well, I didn't answer quick enough, or fidgeted with language, and she decided to pay me way too much. I told her it was too much and she didn't care.

I've just relocated across the country and after I get licensed here, I will have to move on a plan. I've considered becoming non-profit to see if that would make a difference.

I'm hoping that some of you are similar to me and have suggestions, or used to be this way and have figured out a way to make it work. This is very hard for me to put out there...feeling a little like I'm standing in the middle of Town Square, naked...please be gentle, lol.

 

[1saintofGod]

Charging for Massage

The only thing that keeps coming to me is that massage is very intuitive for me (even in a therapeutic setting) and feels like I'm giving someone a gift and then asking them to pay for it.

I feel like an explanation is needed here. By "intuitive" I mean that when I massage I am tapping into a deeper, very nurturing, right-brained aspect of myself. I did not mean to imply that I'm psychic or a medical intuitive.

 

[Armund Steele]

MassageHound, I can relate to you.

I'm constantly torn between the need to earn a living, and the need to give. If I ever played the lottery and won, I buy a modest house and give away the rest. Or, maybe I'd set up my business the way I want it, and invest enough of it to do massage for free, lol.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm at a point in my life where I care more about being happy, and more about the wellbeing of others, than I do about material things. But...I do have to make a living.

So, when it comes to asking for money after a massage, I generally let clients relax a bit, sip their bottled water I offered, and allow them to pay me when they're ready to. They usually ask me how much, even though they already know (probably because they're waiting for me to ask), and I matter-of-factly state the price. I've had to train myself to use a certain voice, so I don't sound sheepish.

I guess it's difficult to put a price on a connection with another person.

 

[BubbleHead]

I myself have always felt the same way. Thankfully I work at a spa now and I dont have to handle the money end of it if I don't want.
However, I have friends that take advaneforum.xxxe of the fact that I don't like asking for money for a massage. They would come over and start complaining "Oh I hurt here" "Oh I hurt There" and I use to massage them. then it got to a point when they would do this to me at 1 am(Not a typo) and get mad at me when I would tell them no. Or I would get calls at 10 pm wanting to know if I could massage them right then and there. The second I would say "yes I can come over but you will pay $60 for an hour massage" They would always say nevermind. I just got tired of being taken advaneforum.xxxe of and always having people expect me to massage them everytime they saw me.
I love what I do, i love helping people but I won't stand for people taking constant advaneforum.xxxe of my talent.

 

[Leftfoot]

I know what you mean Massagehound, I find that I seem to use a more "intuitive" or "artisitic" side of my brain when I do massage and it's sometimes hard for me to think about charging money after the massage is over.
I do think that it's important to charge something. And I've had my experiences like Shannon too, where friends just want some "Free Massage" - and like to "play" you. Still, I think that's a little bit different issue than the one you were discussing about asking for payment from clients.
I've sort of wondered whether it might not be better for both the client and myself if we got the money out of the way first. Sort of like when my sister goes to get her nails done but pays for the service before she gets her nails all painted for fear of nicking the nail color while writing a check or on the way out the door!
It's probably something I'd do with more "established" clients who tend to choose the same service every week or month... but it's definitely something to consider IMHO!

 

[Hershey]

Could you write out a professional looking chit sheet/receipt that you could have waiting for them wuith their bottle of water, etc?
"today's service - one hour massage - $60"
or something similar?
Jill/Sagetherapist

 

[Pompal 09.]

I've sort of wondered whether it might not be better for both the client and myself if we got the money out of the way first.

Thanks maestra, I would still need to ask for payment (same as I would after a session) but it's a thought that's definitely worth investigating further nonetheless. I had not considered that option.

Could you write out a professional looking chit sheet/receipt that you could have waiting for them wuith their bottle of water, etc?
"today's service - one hour massage - $60"
or something similar?
Jill/Sagetherapist

Thanks Jill, this is a very creative idea. Hmmm, you may be on to something here. I'm not sure why that might work (the psychology behind it) but I really like it. Even if I don't do exactly that, it gets my mind considering possibilities and solutions and thinking in different directions.

 

[Deedee]

Another thing that may help is to remember that there always has to be some sort of energetic exchange for a service because it keeps the flow going. Healers have always recieved something for their time, be it chickens, tobacco or whatever.

In this case, it just happens to be money.

 

[arielle_ya]

When a client comes to you for a massage, they are in a position to give also, they give to you when they pay you for the service you are providing to them. And they are giving you the opportunity to give healing. They are giving you the chance to have a new experience with them.

And conversely, they are taking what they need from the universe when they get bodywork, and you too are taking! You have a need to provide healing for others, therefore you must have clients who need to receive healing. You are taking the opportunity to learn from each client something new about them, and yourself, and the world.

So the giving/taking is going both ways.

Jill

 

[Pompal 09.]

hey massagehound,

since you love the business aspect of things have you ever thought of developing a business where you designed "stuff" for massage therapists? either by designing and selling things or becoming an independant consultant for the massage therapy/spa industry? if you are so passionate about massage but really love the designing and "inside" business of things, it's something to think about.

 

[mohamed]

MassageHound, I can relate to you.

I matter-of-factly state the price. I've had to train myself to use a certain voice, so I don't sound sheepish.

I guess it's difficult to put a price on a connection with another person.

Thanks jellybeanbutterfly, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only therapist that struggles with this. You've made some good suggestions.

I myself have always felt the same way. Thankfully I work at a spa now and I dont have to handle the money end of it if I don't want.

Thanks shannon, for sharing...it is truly appreciated.

Another thing that may help is to remember that there always has to be some sort of energetic exchange for a service because it keeps the flow going. Healers have always recieved something for their time...

Thanks kathryn, I completely get this (especially being a Reiki practitioner), that's what makes it even more difficult.

When a client comes to you for a massage, they are in a position to give also, they give to you when they pay you for the service you are providing to them. So the giving/taking is going both ways.

Thanks jewelalchemy, I appreciate your perspective and you make very good points. I am totally on to the concept of "give and take"...I promise.

since you love the business aspect of things have you ever thought of developing a business where you designed "stuff" for massage therapists?

Thanks terab, this is an awesome idea. Yes, I have considered it (and still am considering). The other thing that would be similar is teaching massage which I've done before and found it to be very rewarding (what's that old saying ?, "those that can't do, teach" :? ). So, there are other paths for me to take to stay connected with massage. This is such a block for me, it may be the push I need for a change in direction.


***Thanks for being gentle on me everyone : . I'm still open for more suggestions and thoughts.

 

[Pam Beasley]

Massagehound....i feel ya! I was wondering if you ever extend your session longer than an hour as well?(w/o charging) This kinda falls into that caeforum.xxxory of feeling the need to give, and I find myself doing at least a 1/2 more for friends, and not charging because i feel guilty of charging them.
(sorry to drop into your post, but this seemed to fit here)
I too have found it extremely difficult to put a price on myself. i'm glad you posted this topic, because you are not alone.


Looking forward to the responses you get!

 

[verscharren]

Now your issue is payment, but on the giving angle..... story on giving I heard over the weekend: if you give someone a very expensive car, worth more than the car you drive, and they decide to make a garden art statment out of it, smash the windows, cut up the seats, leave it with the doors open, would you think they didn't appreciate your gift, wish you'd never given it to them, or at least kept the expensive car and given them your current car?? Would you think it was an unusual thing to do with such an expensive present, particularly if they had no car? Would you think it was theirs to do what they wanted with? Or it should be cherished in an appropriate manner?
Was the gift given with strings unattached? Did you have expectations on how the gift should be treated? Was the garden art person meant to be beholden to you for giving them such an expensive gift? On one level, do you want to feel as if they owe you something?

OK, now take that to massage - volunteering, charging, not for profit. Any relationship?

 

[Crimson Rebirth]

I was wondering if you ever extend your session longer than an hour as well?(w/o charging)

i'm glad you posted this topic, because you are not alone.

Looking forward to the responses you get!

Thanks polorolo - yes, I do have a tendency to go over but only in private practice, not when I've worked in a chiropractic clinic or spa where timing is of the absolute essence for their business. And, in my own practice, I will make sure it's okay to go over first. I tend to get lost in the work and the time zips by. I'm pretty good at setting boundaries with friends and family (as well as clients and patients) but the tendency is still there...I definitely need a clock!

I'm looking forward to the responses I get, too!. *thanks for responding

Now your issue is payment...
OK, now take that to massage - volunteering, charging, not for profit. Any relationship?

Thanks melb, for sharing that really great story! I do appreciate the perspective (I know many people who give with strings attached, so I am familiar with what it looks and feels like). My issue is soley with charging and accepting payment...as in speaking the words, "that will be $60 for today please" and then accepting the money. I in no way want my clients to feel obligated or indebted to me, I feel quite the opposite. I also know that many people do not value what they don't pay for (or what they don't pay enough for). And, I need to make a living.

Do you struggle with this yourself?

 

[Josh H]

There's a lot for me to learn from therapists who do not struggle with this at all, too...maybe I need to hang around with a few : . If any of you are out there, please chime in anytime. Your input is needed.

I just feel after 5 years I should be over this uncomfortable-ness by now, like get over it already. Maybe I just haven't truly found my niche with massage, yet. As an example: teaching requires massage instructors to use their manual skills, as well as, skills related to learning and teaching others, all without having to ask anyone for $60. :? And, if I decide to revisit that path, or to contribute on a massage industry/business level, I can always set myself up in opportunites to feed the "volunteer need" (animal shelters and retirement communities, etc).

....maybe I'm uncomfortable with it because I'm not meant to be comfortable with it.

 

[cta-music.com]

....I just had a mini-breakthrough! When I'm doing massage for someone elses business (like chiropractor or spa) it feels like work (which I make sure I get paid well for) but when I'm working for myself (in private practice) it doesn't feel like work, so it is very hard to put a price on something that feels like that. Okay, so why doesn't it feel like work (?).

 

[Hotch]

Oh goodness! I have to get my memory working here. I just recently read a very good article on this subject. I will have to see if I can find the article.

I will make myself a note to look for it tomorrow when I have some time. I really think it would be helpful here.

 

[Amanda B]

On Receiving Massage Payment

This is a very fascinating discussion. You are in no way alone and in no way wacky.

I have been recently been writing a theory about this subject that might help you, and your honest and open description is really helping me realize I might be on to something that can help. Now this may not be true for you, but I believe it is true for many therapists.

OK, here is my wacky theory. A good massage therapists knows that they are not "fixing" people. Instead it is a partnership of healing, between the client and the therapist, and the world. A good therapist also connects with a bigger energy that they are conducting to help their clients. And to do this work well, you have to relax the “normal” dualistic division and descriptions that we apply to ourselves. You have to let go of your ego based “self” a bit, and open up. And because of this you are rightfully aware that you are not fully "responsible" for all of what you are providing or doing for your client. You are just an important part of an entire process.

And this is precisely the reason why I believe many therapists (and maybe you also) are uncomfortable receiving payment. Because you don't feel fully responsible. And I would say that is true, your ego based self is not fully responsible. That is one of the joys of this work.

But do you know what happens next? When it comes to receiving payment? You step right back into your ego based self to receive payment, as though that bigger connection has stopped after the massage. You receive your payment from the perspective of You & Them & the World, as distinctly separate. You start thinking it is just you receiving the payment. But the receiving and giving of payment is an interconnected part of the healing process, for you and them, but more for them. It is part of a bigger healing circle.

The thing is a holistic perspective and energy needs to extend throughout the entire relationship. To comfortably receive full payment for your services you have to relax your “self” just like you do giving a massage. You have to practice this, just like massage, for it to come naturally. And when you do relax the “self” when receiving payment, it is very natural and easy. It is not just about you.

I created a picture graphic on my site of this bigger circle idea to help get this idea across.
It is part of an article that I wrote on my theory. Scroll down the page to view it here: http://www.massage-marketing-tips.com/massage-payment.html

So, what do you think? Is my theory striking any notes? Or does it stink?

 

[Bella310]

Oh goodness! I have to get my memory working here. I just recently read a very good article on this subject. I will have to see if I can find the article.

I will make myself a note to look for it tomorrow when I have some time. I really think it would be helpful here.

Okay...find it, find it, find it : ! It isn't jobymojo's article, is it?

This is a very fascinating discussion. You are in no way alone and in no way wacky.

:roll: phew!!
__________________
jobymojo:

Thanks so much for sharing your awesome article and website. Sorry to have taken so long in responding today but I wanted to really let your words sink in...no, your theory doesn’t stink, at all. It is very similar in the “give and take” line of thinking that has already been mentioned here in this thread (in a few different ways), however, it has provoked many thoughts – see below. It has served as a reminder, as well.

1) We are only limited by our mind and what we perceive as possible (I learned this first hand when asked to teach massage professionally…because I had never talked before a group of people before, I assumed that this was a painful impossibility and initially turned the position down…I decided to step out of my comfort zone though and challenge my perceptions, realizing that the offer to teach was a great opportunity…it turned out to be one of the most rewarding things I’ve EVER done, and surprisingly the most natural…it was a complete awakening and personal transformation and lesson). So, as long as I continue to perceive that I have a problem charging and accepting payment, I will.

2) Accepting payment finalizes and completes the transaction. Don’t know why this thought came up but it did.

3) Quote:"And this is precisely the reason why I believe many therapists (and maybe you also) are uncomfortable receiving payment. Because you don't feel fully responsible." This is what hits home for me more than anything out of your wacky theory .

4) I don’t like placing a monetary value on my work (with the exception of working for others). I believe this has to do with how I view my work.

5) I am drawn to working with clientele (people and animals) that cannot really afford massage therapy.

6) Consider this: when I’m working with shelter animals, who have no permanent home, who are physically and mentally stressed out to the max, my payment for working with them will never be monetary (because for one, it is done on a volunteer basis as required by the individual shelter)…my payment is knowing that the goodness that comes from that exchange will come back to me however it is meant to…one way is knowing that a dog may find a permanent home and not ever come back to the shelter because her/his behavior has changed in a positive manner from the massage treatments, and is also much less stressed & more healthy…and that dog will in turn provide immeasurable happiness to some family. There is no monetary exchange or compensation, except for the adoption fees that are paid to the shelter by the family - but not to me.

7) I’m still thinking. Thanks.

**Congrats on your work, and your website.

 

[inspike]

this is facinating. thanks everyone for contributing