Corporate Lessons

[Fareed Ali]

*_Corporate Lesson 1:_*

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you £500 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the womandrops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds,Bob hands her £500 pounds and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When shegets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob thenext door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did hesay anything about the £500 he owes me?"

/Moral of the story:/ If you share critical information regarding risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a positionto prevent avoidable exposure.

>> > *_Corporate Lesson 2:_*

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. Thenun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" the priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nunonce again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?". The priest apologized"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nunwent on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to lookup Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

/Moral of the story:/ If you are not well informed in your job, youmight miss a great opportunity.

*_Corporate Lesson 3:_*

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking tolunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub itand a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
"I want to be in theBahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Poof! She'sgone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply ofPina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "Iwant those two back in the office after lunch."

/Moral of the story:/ Always let your boss have the first say.

*_Corporate Lesson 4:_*

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crowanswered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

/Moral of the story:/ To be sitting and doing nothing, you must besitting very high up.

*_Corporate Lesson 5:_*

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to Get tothe top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They'repacked with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top ofthe tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

/Moral of the story:/ Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

 

[amz m]

Hi,

What a great post, I particularly like lesson five! Thanks for sharing.

I would think this should be in thought for today forum though!

Craig