Did I do something wrong?

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Pompal 09.

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I have a client who has been coming twice a week for 30 minute neck/back sessions. She also sees a chiropractor twice a week, usually the morning after her sessions with me. A month ago she had 6 pinched nerves in her neck, and now there is only 1. Her chiropractor told her that he was certain seeing me was helping her to adjust better, and that she should keep coming. She said she felt like a new woman. She could turn her neck without pain, and her TMJ was improving. When she told me this, I was just over the moon! I felt so great knowing that I had helped this woman.

Now for the downer- She cancelled her appt. with me on Monday, and just called to cancel today's appt. as well. She said her neck was really tight, and after her last session (8 days ago) she couldn't turn her head. The next day she was nauseous & dizzy, and her chiropractor told her that her neck was in worse shape than at her very first visit with him. She implied to me that it was my fault, and said her body can't handle getting massaged twice a week.

I just don't see how this could've been my fault :undecided: I don't pull on her neck (even though she repeatedly asks me to) and I don't do anything more than medium pressure & cross-fiber friction to her neck. The friction is primarily done to her left SCM, because it is extremely tight & pulls her head to the left. I just don't see how I could've done anything to pull her disks "out of place" again. She told me at her first appt. that she sleeps with her head in an odd position, and almost always wakes up with a stiff neck. Could that cause her problems??

I'm sorry this is so long, I'm just really upset & worried right now. I hope that it wasn't my actions that have caused her pain, and I'm worried I'll lose her as a client, and that she'll tell other people that I hurt her. She also has 3 more sessions that she's paid for in advance, so if she stops coming, I suppose I have to return her money. Any advice will be extremely appreciated!
 


I doubt that anything you have done caused this, especially if she knowingly sleeps in odd positions that mucks up her neck nightly.

Rather than worrying about being blamed - and most of us would worry, so don't beat yourself up for that, either - try going at it from the assurance that you were helping, yet she somehow hurt herself again. With that mindset, you could send a friendly card saying you are sorry she's hurt her neck again, and you're hoping she gets the pain under control very quickly. Let her know you are thinking of her and wish her best. You could also add a reminder that she still has three prepaid appointments, to be used whenever she feels up to it.

Don't assume responsibility or that you're being blamed. People in pain have a very hard time with how to say something, and sometimes they're not very nice. Think of her as the "real" her, that you already know - the grateful client who appreciates what you do for her. Ignore any crankiness and chalk it up to the pain talking. Stay open - she may end up worried about coming back after having said something she didn't mean, or worry about how you took what she said. If you present yourself as the same old you that she knows, it will be easier to get past this and resume the therapeutic relationship. And if she doesn't come back for whatever reason.....don't worry about it. Someone else will fill the place in your schedule. You helped her for the time you were allowed and I'm guessing she's already told plenty of people about that.
 
Did I do something wrong?

first off do not blame yourself.

A month ago she had 6 pinched nerves in her neck, and now there is only 1.......She said her neck was really tight, and after her last session (8 days ago) she couldn't turn her head. The next day she was nauseous & dizzy, and her chiropractor told her that her neck was in worse shape than at her very first visit with him.

This is a common unwinding pattern. My mother has gone through the same exact thing. Her chrio stated that is is because she has lived her life in a holding pattern that compensated for the injuries to her spine and her body wanted to revert to that pattern. Her body was not used to being in proper alignment.
She got through it by seeing her chrio 2x a day 3 days a week for a week, while recieving body work from me at the same time. She was in ALOT of pain, each adjustment hurt and the work I did was gentle and subtle and she had tears streaming down her face the whole way through it. but in the end a week later, she was back on track to recovery.

The nauseousness and dizzyness can be caused by trigger points in the SCM and surrounding neck muscles that may have been activated and should be addressed to release further.

The friction is primarily done to her left SCM, because it is extremely tight & pulls her head to the left.
Does she have torticollis? I would just be concerned about agressive treatment with this condition. (I don't know much about it)
that she sleeps with her head in an odd position, and almost always wakes up with a stiff neck. Could that cause her problems??
ABSOLUTLEY! the chrio should have addressed this with her and suggested the proper positioning for how she sleeps (side or back)

More than anything, you need to converse with the chrio about her condition and come to an agreement with him on a course of treatment. Then, discuss with the client the fact that many conditions can get worse before they get better, and discuss what options you have agreed upon with the chrio.

Don't beat yourself up over this! Good luck!
 
Did I do something wrong?

PremoMT said:
This is a common unwinding pattern. My mother has gone through the same exact thing. Her chrio stated that is is because she has lived her life in a holding pattern that compensated for the injuries to her spine and her body wanted to revert to that pattern. Her body was not used to being in proper alignment.
She got through it by seeing her chrio 2x a day 3 days a week for a week, while recieving body work from me at the same time. She was in ALOT of pain, each adjustment hurt and the work I did was gentle and subtle and she had tears streaming down her face the whole way through it. but in the end a week later, she was back on track to recovery.

The nauseousness and dizzyness can be caused by trigger points in the SCM and surrounding neck muscles that may have been activated and should be addressed to release further.

That is so interesting, thanks for sharing that! I am curious if your mother did anything else besides the chiro/massage to re-align. Such as stretching/strengthening particular muscles on a regular basis. Could she have handled such exercise? Also what kind of injuries did she have to her spine?

Thanks!

PinkLotus, I hope you won't let this episode wound your confidence in working with her or similar clients. It's a perfect opportunity to get to know this type of healing response to be armed for the future and to also handle this client professionally. I agree with PremoMT to see about being able to discuss it with her chiropractor.
 


Rose of Sharon said:
Don't assume responsibility or that you're being blamed. People in pain have a very hard time with how to say something, and sometimes they're not very nice. Think of her as the "real" her, that you already know - the grateful client who appreciates what you do for her. Ignore any crankiness and chalk it up to the pain talking. Stay open - she may end up worried about coming back after having said something she didn't mean, or worry about how you took what she said. If you present yourself as the same old you that she knows, it will be easier to get past this and resume the therapeutic relationship.
Truer words were never spoken.
Hold the compassion that you already feel for her, and hold it for yourself as well.
I have no advice about her specific neck - we would all approach it in our own effective ways - but I do feel for both of you. Pain strikes people and their caregivers, and it is very easy to panic in its grip.
 
Did I do something wrong?

tribute said:
That is so interesting, thanks for sharing that! I am curious if your mother did anything else besides the chiro/massage to re-align. Such as stretching/strengthening particular muscles on a regular basis. Could she have handled such exercise? Also what kind of injuries did she have to her spine?

Thanks!

I just asked her, and she said she didn't do anything beyond those appointments. We were doing yoga at that point in time, but no positions specifically addressed her issues. No ice, no heat, nothing like that. Just rest, some ibuprophen when the pain was too much (she is a barber, and did not take off work)
There were no specific injuries. She was in minor fender benders when she was younger, fell while water skiing, tripped off sidewalks... all normal life events. They just take a toll over time. That and with what she does for a living (think arms parallel to the floor alot) it was just repetative strain patterns.
She's been seeing this chrio for 3 years now on a very regular basis. He has been walking her through her old injuries for that amount of time. She's gone through about 5 unwinding sessions in the 3 years. Most of which have been in her neck area.
She just told me she hasn't been to the chrio in a month. That's a long time for her! But, it's taken her a long time to get to this point as well.

Another thing you have to remember Pink is that her pain is a compilation of events, and has taken her many years to accumulate. Sometimes a gentle reminder that this pain will take at least half as long to get rid of as it did to create. There is generally no overnight "cure."
 


Thank you for all the helpful replies. I guess I was forgetting that no problem like hers can be fixed overnight, and that things do often get worse before they get better.

I don't know about the torticollis, I'm going to read into it further & see what I think. Something she told me at her last appt. has me thinking now- she said when she was giving birth to her daughter 10 years ago, it felt like her left SCM "tore away" from her clavicle. At the point where it attaches to her clavicle, it feels much thicker. I'm wondering if it did tear, and if she has adhesions? There are trigger points in her left SCM, and she says the pain is nearly unbearable when I go over them with medium pressure.

*sigh* I really, really hope that she doesn't get discouraged and stop coming. I think I will try to meet with her chiropractor next week (his office is next door to mine) and discuss her diagnosis & problems. I just have this huge desire to help people, especially those with chronic pain, and when she came to me and said how much better she felt, I was so happy. I'm trying to take everyones words to heart & not be hard on myself. I'm so grateful for so many replies in such a short time!
 


P.L., remember HIPPA laws. The chiro can't and/or shouldn't discuss her without her permission. You have the right to call and ask if you can discuss her situation with the chiro..Good luck!
 


Hi Pink Lotus.
You mentioned doing cross fiber friction on her scm's. Were you close to any nerves of the cervical or brachial plexus? Sometimes this can cause such a reaction. Deep fiber frictioning can be quite traumatic on certain areas of the body. I would greatly suggest you purchase a vibrator with available heat or cold. 'Brookstones' sells one that is quite effective. You wanna make sure the head of the vibrator moves from side to side and not like a piston because you want to reproduce that side to side 'frictioning' one normally does manually. The nice part about this type of vibrator is that it does the frictioning so rapidly, your client will feel very little discomfort and the results will be good.
You might want to suggest or discuss with her chiropractor the use of certain supplements which can speed things along and cut down on her discomfort as well.
Also, you could offer a free session to make up for her discomfort but this is your call entirely. If she is a long standing client and or you want to have good relations with her and speak kindly of you, consider it. Word of mouth goes a long way in our business.
And lastly, we all make mistakes. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.
I hope this is helpful to you.
 


Well, she's decided that maybe twice a week was too often for her, and has started coming just once a week. She says she feels much better now, and hasn't had any more pain. I think getting adjusted & getting a massage 2x/week was just too much on her body. She'd never been to the chiro before recently, and had only gotten massages once every 6-8 weeks. She's also fairly sedentary, so I think that her body just couldn't handle it all. Now that she's down to once a week, she says she feels great.

She told me at her last visit that she had told a couple of friends about me, and her husband called me a couple days ago wanting a massage ASAP, but I was all booked for the day & instead of making an appt. for the next day, he just said "well, thanks anyway." *sigh* But then today, his mother came in & bought a GC for him from me.
 


Wonderful! I am so glad she is feeling better, AND you have gotten some great refferals from her. :D
Thanks for the update!
 
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  28. SL East Spa:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Monday ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’– Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: SL Richmond Hill & SL West Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 10 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” Top Star Jenny, ๐Ÿ†• Elsa, Coco, JPN Yui, Cindy, Kelly, busty Cici, Amber, Echo & Juliet โ€” ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽˆ Hit up 647-695-6354๐Ÿค™ or text to ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169 โœจ160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, Richmond Hill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  29. Lilyspa1:
    Lily Spa :๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•Monday Schedule : ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณKatrina 22, Punjabi student โค๏ธElena ( Latino ) Big Nature Boobs & SuSu ( Asian )Slim , all bbbj Dfk ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Porn Service ๐Ÿ”ฅDuo ๐Ÿ”ฅ,โ˜Ž๏ธ 6475318288
  30. DareDevil:
    Blackpink Wellness โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ90 Marycroft Ave. Unit #2, Vaughan, ๐Ÿญ๐ŸฌON L4L 5Y1 (647) 395-3188. BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY GIRLS TODAY: ๐ŸŒนSuperstar Julie, Sexy Bonnie and Beautiful Tiffany on duty๐ŸŒน.
  31. DareDevil:
    ARIA WELLNESS โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธADDRESS: 360 HWY 7, UNIT #6, RICHMOND HILL,647-222-5683 โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ(PHONES CALL ONLY, NO TEXT'N AVAILABLE) โ™ฅ๏ธTODAY'S Schedule!โ™ฅ๏ธ Loaded lineup with Beautiful Girls : New Pretty Girl Cici, Young RMT Student Helen, Magical Mia and Work out๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿšด๐Ÿ’ช Babe Amy! BUY 10 HOURS (GET 11 HOURS) ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน**TODAY'S PICK OF THE DAY IS ๐Ÿญ๐ŸฌCICI or Helen๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ**
  32. Nu spring spa888:
    ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒนsexy hot Latino ๐Ÿ’– Malaysian ๐Ÿ’– Korean girls ๐Ÿ‘working at Nu spring spa๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹โ˜Ž๏ธ416-669-8508๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน
  33. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    โœจClick on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! โœ… Click Here Today๐ŸŒธAletta๐ŸŒธSami๐ŸŒธLynda๐ŸŒธSummer๐ŸŒธTiffany Call us โ˜Ž 905 - 265 - 2158โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate service awaits! โœจ
  34. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Click Here Meet๐ŸŒธBrandy๐ŸŒธCarly๐ŸŒธKellyCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  35. Spa in Markham:
  36. BlueXado Therapy & Spa:
  37. Pink Flower Spa:
  38. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center :Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Midi ,New Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Baby ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Yoyo ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella ,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry , address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2โ˜Ž๏ธ4376655510 ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  39. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: New Young girl Big-breasted big Big boobs big butts May, Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Vita ,Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Bobo, Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage maggie,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 .โ˜Ž๏ธ4379857899 ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  40. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹Limited Time Special Promotion๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹ โœ…๐Ÿ’ฆ30 Minutes Nude Mass
  41. luckywellness:
    Lucky Wellness Center 4379721888 New Add bookmark #199 We had three girls working today, Kiki Sarah and Vivi. 295 Eglinton Ave E,Unit 7,Mississauga
  42. AliceSpa:
    MONDAY at ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—–๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต๐Ÿด-๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด๐Ÿต๐Ÿด. 3 Sexy Young Girls Today at Alice Spa. Open 10am to 9pm : LUCKY (12:30pm-9pm): is Vietnamese, small body, busty D cup, very beautiful face, Young/Cute/Petite/Pure/Submissive, Fair Skin/Perky Ass/Sweet, Super Open-Minded bbbj cim cof rim, excellent service, also strong massage. SUGAR (10am-9pm): is young,petite, 5'1"
  43. Annie Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ANNIE SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLEโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒSCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ (647) 891-9688โ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ (416) 291-8879โ˜Ž๏ธ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…NEW MANAGEMENT๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ”ฅGORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: ๐Ÿ”ฅ Judy๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅOur new Asian massage girl Judy is a vision of refined sensuality, with a graceful figure and smooth, flawless skin that radiates warmth and allure. Her striking black hair frames her delicate features, and her poised
  44. ForeverWarden:
    Monday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ดโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Bella, Yumi & Cindy. Bella is around 5โ€™3โ€ with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Yumi is a young half Chinese / /half Korean very sexy & slim beauty, can do bbbj cim, excellent services...
  45. HolidaySpa:
    Monday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: AMY, FIONA & CINDY. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills! FIONA is a slim hottie with long dark hair, great melons and ass, and nice services.
  46. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today, young pretty Lily 25โ€™s with curve body and young sweet Mia 25โ€™s, young sexy Michelle 25โ€™s with curve body open mind and Cute GFE Ella are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome,back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  47. SugarLoveSpa:
    Monday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: CHRISTINA, ELLA, MIA & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž CHRISTINA is Spanish, C Cups, 5'3", tall & nice curves, very open minded. ELLA is a lovely Thai sweetheart, 5โ€™1โ€ with C Cups, smooth skin and a very pleasing attitude. MIA is a young & slim ๐™Ž๐™‹๐™„๐™‰๐™‰๐™€๐™, very PRETTY & PETITE
  48. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒนโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ Wonder spa [9421Jane st unit 127)L6a 4H8,๐Ÿ”ฅ4165000-800,Ensuit rain shower now is available ,every day 4 nice girls working,๐Ÿ’„Amy is Vietnamese young sex girl,open maid,everything she can do,๐Ÿ’„Mimi is very beautiful face long leg friendly ,nice body slide,really popular must try๐ŸŒนlong hair Mina Q smile ,beautiful strong to relaxing oil massage,back walk,hot stone,more experience,relief your stress,must try๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ
  49. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน Three girls every day ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ 5124 Dundas West Street, Etobicoke โ˜Ž๏ธ 416-817-3366 ๐Ÿ‘ Newโ—๏ธNew girl โ—๏ธCindy, sexy girl 1.65 M.pretty boobs 36D๐Ÿ˜˜Superb service ๐Ÿ‘ Sweet girl Luna deep message ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ Hot and sexy body very provocative service ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ You are welcome to make an appointment at any time or walk in directly through the back door. We have ample parking spaces available
  50. Lulu_Villa_Spa:
    Mia Vietnamese Sasa friendly Vietnamese girl Natalie filipina mixed Petite girl Judy is a gorgeous model type Vietnamese Girl Cherry ๐Ÿ’ From Malaysia Part time School gir โ˜Ž๏ธ647- 446-0886
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