Spies, I think many of us have had similar issues.
I used to see a reg lady over the course of 10 years. Our sessions were some of the hottest with little left to the imagination, including bondage, duos, some light sadistic play along with toys and so on.
She was hot, one of the best reviewed ladies in Edmonton.
Towards the end I couldn't get hard no matter what I tried. I tried to ignore, but when things got around to getting hard, Nothing, and I took V to see if that helped. She was very accommodating with my problem and did her best to get a rise out of me. The last year before she retired our sessions were adjusted and her pleasure became our focus. Something I enjoyed immensely
The strange thins was, I could get hard seeing someone less attractive, including a sub par body.
So my solution was to move on for the next adventure, racking it all up to familiarity as the reason for no erection. In other word, been there done that, so try someone new.
Luckily I have met ladies who always get a rise out of me and I have found certain activities in the session turn me on. I also learned once hard, get er done. You can always go back to massage or other enjoyable activity to make sure she gets her orgasm too.