Welcome Duress,
You've gotten good advice above, but I'll add my 2c
Pick the right girl. Tell us your tastes and we can make suggestions.
A lot of the things you ask depend on the salon.
Be yourself. I wouldn't push the discussion of options. There are three ways this is done:
1. Menu. The salon has a policy and the girl will give you a price list to chose from, either right off the bat or more commonly after she asks you to flip and sees your erection.
2. Negotiation. You flip, she sees your erection. "So, what can I do for you today?" You tell her what you want her to do. She quotes you a price. You offer less, etc.
3. Pay what it's worth. A few enlightened salons do neither 1 or 2, but just give you good service and you pay what you think it's worth at the end. If you don't pay enough she will let you know, however.
In all salons the masseuse will try to find out if you know how it works early on, because she doesn't want to provide you with services and then you don't pay or fight with her about what it is worth. So you will always get questions like:
Is this your first time here?
Have you had this sort of massage before?
What other salons have you been to?
I would suggest a menu place for your first experience. This is easier and less subtle for a first time. Kama is good. DDG girls. Read the thread and see who people like. Go to their web site and check the schedule. Then call, ideally a day in advance, and make an appointment. Be 5 min early. Call if you will be late.
Kama advice: take the VIP room, but skip the spa
Be clean and well groomed. Accept to take a shower when the receptionist offers even if you already showered at home.
I like the suggestion of sitting on the table and waiting for the masseuse to come in, and then shaking her hand. I think most guys simply lie on the table and wait. But if you can look her in the eye, smile and shake hands this can make everyone more comfortable.