"Excuse me, could you spare a few moments for market research?"

[piellWarpVabe]

We're asking questions today on behalf of God.He would like to thank you for your belief and patronage, but in order to better serve your needs he asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Of course, your responses will be kept completely confidential and you won't need to disclose your name or address unless you desire a direct response.



1. How did you find out about God? (Please circle)

newspaper Divine inspiration
television word of mouth

other:............................................................


2. Are you currently using any other sources of inspiration/guidance in addition to God? Please tick all that apply.

tarot
bio-rhythms
sex
fortune cookies
alcohol
horoscopes
self help books
advice columns
the lottery
television (Trisha/Ricki Lake etc)
none

other................................................................


3. God generally employs a limited amount of Divine Intervention to keep a balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Would you prefer (please circle)

A. More Divine Intervention
B. Less Divine Intervention
C. Current level is just right
D. Don't know


4. God also attempts to maintain a fairly balanced level of disasters and and miracles. Please rater on a scale of 1-5 his handling of the following:

a) disasters (flood, famine, war) b) miracles (recovery from disease, heroic rescues and escapes etc)

1= unsatisfactory
2= poor
3=average
4= good
5= excellent


5. Do you have any addiional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services?

If so, please provide details in the space provided:

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Thank you for taking your time to assist with market research.