Extremely anxious client

[nitwig//0]

On Saturday I treated a new client with reflexology, ostensibly to help a knee and hip problem. She was obviously extremely nervous and/or anxious. She told me her stress levels were high, but was putting up barriers, so I didn't press her on this. When I went to treat her, I used loads of relaxation movements on her, but her feet were as stiff as boards. Even though I used really firm movements on her, she was extremely ticklish and was embarrassed at trying not to laugh.

She spent the whole treatment sitting bolt upright, (even though I had got her comfortable with pillows, etc.), holding her head whilst stifling laughing. I didn't feel I could spend any time on certain areas of her feet (mainly her toes) as she felt so uncomfortable. During the treatment I had to keep rotating her ankles to try and get her to release her feet to me.

At the end of the treatment, I recommended that she practised some relaxation techniques this week at home - tensing and releasing, so she would feel the difference between being tense or relaxed. She has booked in again this week, but I felt the treatment was an ordeal for her. I just wondered whether anyone had any other techniques I could use on this lady to help her enjoy her treatment.

Lesley

 

[Shafagh H]

Lesley

did the client enjoy the session?

does she like/not like her feet being touched?

having addressed the above she may be more relaxed on another session, some people who have hurt or other problems may need to build up trust with you, you may find the next session she will let go more, otherwise you may have to offer another kind of treatment like reiki or aromatherapy massage or indian head massage which are all very relaxing. she needs to learn to relax so your suggestions about relaxing are goos ones, maybe some breathing relaxation techniques may healp her.

i hope this helps
lala
dez

 

[hteqcuvbitkijhetr]

Hi Lesley

I think the important thing for you to remember is that she is coming back. She wouldn't do that if she had not wanted to. It isn't unusual to react in this way - in fact it is a fairly common reaction with reflexology. Just be confident and use maybe a slightly firmer pressure (I don't know how your pressure is?) If you have to, spend less time on the tickly areas for now. She will get used to it I reckon within three sessions and then she can start to relax.
Good luck.

 

[Inam Ullah]

Hello Lesley,
Hoping you & your family are well - enjoying the Autumnal offerings

Okay some thoughts - free flowing - hope they may be of some interest or use.

Bless her , this lady does sound as if she is afraid to let go, perhaps its a confidence thing, or perhaps in fear of what may happen if not in control or frightened of allowing the true self to be accessed.
I suspect her laughter is a way of hiding the intimidation & unease she may
(may not ) feel when you hold her feet. I always consider we are touching a very special almost intimate part of the whole which rarely has such warm & caring attention - especially without anything expected in return - nor anywhere else that when gently held or touched can & does produce such profound emotional as well as physical reactions & feelings...This in itself may make a person feel giggly with unease. She may well be a very sensitive soul & wary of the powerful changes she can feel via your touch.

I would suspect this is a far more emotional reaction than physical.
Perhaps consider using a firmer hold but gentle if you know what i mean,
hold her still & firmly but with gentle large movements - forget the hook or catipillar type workings - continue with kneading - with the knuckles into the diaphragm, using the opening of the lungs with the same knuckle movement...along the spine etc tec all with the knuckles...maniplulate as oppose to working specifics.
You hopefully will find the holding of the solar plexus will soothe & calm her.
I have had the most horrendously tense, anxious peeps, who have shown to have nervous tickleish feet - thus I alter my treatment mega time - to suit - coincidentally these peeps in their consultation forms rarely were able to enjoy a good night sleep - their soul wasnt able to rest.
Anyway -digression looming -
so - if she does put up barriers - emotional or physical or both !
- in your mind - simply consider saying - its okay to feel that way,
talk to her from your mind as though you are acknowledging her fears, her unrest , her nervousness but hold her constantly & securely.
If she feels safe she will relax. I doubt very much its the application of your work,
dont be afraid to do as you feel, forget all learned book applications & go with what you feel. Close your eyes & work with what the feet present, work both her feet together as much as poss-holding & pressing solar plexus etc . . . .
ask her if she can close her eyes - if she says no - ask her to ignore you whilst you do - that way she will feel less self-conscious.

You many find you have an ickle bundle of unresolved emotions which are struggling to be released but they just dont know how, or where or when .. I have seen clients wriggle, laugh then look uncomfortable then promtly burst into tears with a hearty but grateful to be able to - release...and they just wanted their sciatica helped, or their IBS etc etc


Warming Feet Rubs

 

[xXSmilezxX]

Thanks for all your replies.

Dez - I can't imagine she enjoyed the session - she looked so uncomfortable. I would imagine that she wasn't aware that she didn't like her feet being touched or she wouldn't have come. I think she has tried some other treatments. I know she mentioned she had acupuncture, but said it hurt her - again I would assume - her tension and resistance to the treatment. I think if she responded like this to just having her feet touch, she would be a hundred times more anxioius having, say, an aromatherapy treatment. Breathing techniques are a good idea - thanks.

Candie - Yes, I was quite surprised that she rebooked, although I am prepared that she may cancel before Saturday. My pressure is very firm and I ensured that it was all the more so, checking that she wasn't experiencing any pain. As I said I spent less time on her 'tickly' areas.

Pre - good to hear from you and hope things are good with you. At the end of the treatment I told her that she was obviously very anxious, but it was quite normal to feel like that during a first treatment. I also said to her that I sensed she was holding so much inside her and she needed to trust and let go. She seemed to be aware of this. I did give her a very different treatment from what I would call a 'usual' treatment - trying to gain her trust and making her feel comfortable with me. I did actually think she was going to cry at one point, but I think she fought it. Good point about closing the eyes. I will try this.

She asked me at the end whether I thought I could help her and I said that I was sure I could, given time and that we would work slowly, slowly.

I'll let you all know how I get on.

Lesley

 

[Bliss]

complete agreement with PRE here and I must say very nicely put, also have you considered working on her hands........
Hugs
Tracy

 

[Darla]

Was about to suggest working on the hands and you nipped in there just ahead of me

Must have been a good treatment to book in again, perhaps she has a lot of pent up emotion, any chance of lying her back even 45 degrees and supporting her knees to try and encourage her to relax? Or could she relax enough simply to close her eyes and do a few deep breathing exercises before treatment?

 

[Journey]

A technique in reflexology to help a client relax more is the solar plexus flexing.

apply to both feet at the same time, gently massage the solar plexus reflex will always bring a feeling of relaxation.

lala
dez

 

[incoahreint chik ozzy]

Hey Lightsaver ! What have i ever done to you ?
Less of the 'old ' pleeeeeeeeeease

 

[Blair W]

Hi
Has she been back yet, do let us know how you get on......if not best of luck this time.
Hugs
T
x

 

[uxeiuuqpiwjilsera]

Tracy, thanks for asking. I was convinced she was going to cancel, but she came along, a bit flustered as she was a few minutes late.

She said that she has trouble sleeping and really wanted help with that. She told me that the first treatment had made her feel really tired, but she still didn't sleep well. She didn't have much success with practising the relaxation techniques which I suggested she tried at home and I think she may have given up.

For the second treatment, I suggested that she lay down more which she did. I encouraged her to uncross her arms and lay her hands palms up by her sides, or alternatively put one hand on her abdomen and focus on her breathing. I suggested that she visualised a relaxing scene whenever she felt the treatment was uncomfortable.

Again, I worked really firmly on her and to begin with she was still not relaxed, gasping whilst trying to stifle laughs, I think and occasionally tucking her hands underneath her back, to try and keep things in check. I reminded her a couple of times to try and close her eyes and I think things were better. The most sensitve areas were all her toes (head, neck and sinuses), her neck was painful also, very ticklish around the reproductive areas and pain in digestive organs - she actually admitted that she carried her tension here, but it was also in her solar plexus and diaphragm. I was able to carry out a full treatment on her this week and she did possibly relax for some of it.

Afterwards, she told me she has major problems for which she is receiving psychotherapy. She clearly didn't want to go into more detail and I felt it wasn't my place to push her on it. However, I suggested that she may need to learn not to let the negative thoughts control her all the time, but at times, she must control them by 'putting them away in a box' and visualising more positive things. She didn't seem able to grasp this and I must admit that I felt out of my depth to help her further on this. I did suggest, however, that she saw the hypnotherapist in our clinic for some techniques to help her with this, but I don't know if she was keen.

I didn't want to overload her with loads of suggestions, either and she did say that she felt she benefitted from the relaxation. She has booked another treatment next week, so hopefully we will progress some more.

All in all the treatment was better than I could have hoped, she knew a bit more of what to expect and did relax for some of the time, which was more than she did the first week.

Will keep you informed.

Lesley

 

[lunajanett]

thumbs up with this client for persevering, she obviously knows she has some work to do and is willing to go there.....
Hugs
T
x

 

[Mega T]

Seems like you're doing well Leslie, whatever it is she needs from the treatment she seems to be getting. Although it may take a few weeks for her to totally relax she is relaxing and gaining benefit.

 

[lrezxupniuricaerj]

Hi Lesley - Hoping you are well.
Many thoughts stirred from your email , if i ramble & digress
take on board any info relevent - any ramblings irrelevent - please discard !!
I know i digress far tooooooo much :-O
You know at the end of the day - she trusts you - she came back - as Dez suggested about the quietness ..I totally gagree !!
silence can truly be a remarkable foundation inwhich all mind, body & soul can commence to heal.Dont ever fear of what to say or do next etc etc , in my humble opinion its what we do not say which is relevent - she has her psychotherapist for expertise in that field -you in yours can reach parts that he can never reach without saying a word !
Remember just how powerful & beneficial relaxation can be - profound relaxation - even if that is all which manifests itself within her time with you - it is good enough .
One step at a time - this lady may have issues that are so deep it takes months to even reach - let her find her way via you . . you find your way via what her feet present.
Feel & dont think I'm joking but sometimes words arent needed.
If she can close her eyes - you're doing well - I have a client so full of fear & mistrust she cant yet manage to close her eyes - yet she does totally relax & feels safe & quietly comes back - each week she looks a little stonger & little straighter a little older & more confident - she walks as oppose to awkwardly shuffles, I have eye contact where initially there wasnt any - this speaks volumes, again - without words
Her past is of no significence to me, not relevent to the treatment, Yes she too has forgotten much in her consultation forms - but so what - we have all the info we need within her soles. Via her reflex , in a quiet way you are already releasing the memory attached to the cellular level, supporting & easing her very being hmmn - sorry -
I'm not explaining myself very well Lesley, but you're doing a great job just holding her & doing the work you apply - words, relaxation etc you can support but generally our usual homecare advice is sufficient - many have no interest in learning relaxation skills
- many have - you will discover what is for her - perhaps its simply you with a warm & caring touch promoting equilbrium & homeostasis.

Wishing you much Warmth & Best Wishes, as always
& of course Warming Feet Rubs

 

[Jberg]

Not sure how it would work, but do you think she may benefit from bringing in her own music to listen to? I know some music really takes me away.

 

[~*~3 WKS LEFT~*~]

Thanks all.

Pre - as always, you echo my thoughts, but just wasn't 100 per cent confident that I shouldn't be doing more.

Whilst it's always great to treat the client who falls asleep the minute they are on the couch, our anxious clients are the ones who really benefit, in seemingly small measures, but for them they are huge steps and it is so satisfying to see.

I will have to learn to trust my instincts more and go with what I feel, instead of sometimes feeling a little inadequate.

Hope things are good with you - and you ramble all you like - it's lovely to hear from you.

Lesley

 

[Ahmed E]

Pre
your rambling was not rambling it was good advice

aroma
keep at it, be still inside and just allow your gift to flow without words but please do it with feeling, remember if you feel nervous so will the client.

Relax and enjoy the union of 2 people, who for that short time are blending energies on more ways than we could ever explain with words.

enjoy , please do gentle but firm over both solar plexus points on her feet for a few minutes to connect and send love through your hands

lal
dez

 

[ULTIMUS]

Hello Dez, do you use solar plexus breathing to calm the client as part of the opening moves (as well as closing moves)? We were taught to use at the start of a treatment for anxious, distressed or just plain stressed clients and the times I've used it I've been impressed with the effect it has had on that person eg looking more serene, deeper breathing, less fidgeting and chatting etc.

Lesley, if I lived closer to you I would be over to you like a shot for a treatment because you are obviously a very caring and conscientious therapist who wants to give 101% to your clients! this is a wonderful and informative posting for ickle students like me.

And thank you to everyone else who has added some pearls of wisdom! Sharing our knowledge can only make us better, more caring therapists.

Siobhan

 

[born2ski1]

footfetish

do it as part of the opening moves

send your love into them and enjoy

remember if you are not relaxed they will feel it also

breath out of your hands as you exhale

lala
dez

 

[What Dreams May Come]

Siobhan, thanks for your lovely comment. It's the way I've been trained and my only problem is to learn to accept my limitations.

Good luck with your course.

Lesley