Female client & male MT situations

[Cord]

hi - I'm new here, but in dire need of some advice from the professional community. Please excuse if my post is lengthy, but I would love some insight.

First of all, I have been getting professional massages for almost 10 years now on a regular basis. I work in the adult related industry behind the computer and sit alllll day long so my lower back has always been an issue, and nudity and my body image is healthy and not a big deal to me at all.

my first experience with a massage therapist was a male, and I really did not know what to expect. he asked me if I wanted chest and abdominal work and I said no. he then asked me if i wanted thigh work...and i said no. and i left and it was a good positive massage experience. i told my fgirlfriends about what had happened and they said i should say yes next time for 'curiousity' sake ...besides, he was super cute.

on my next appointment he again asked me if i wanted breast/abdominal work and I said sure...why not? and it was nice. (this is btw in a very prestigious spa setting in the los angeles area) and at the end of the massage I was extremely turned on and sexually satisfied and also making a point to never make another appointment with this guy again because it just got kind of weird feeling.

I then went to find a new female MT and ended up having a nice professional 3 year relationship with her getting regular treatments with no error. once she decided to marry and move out of town, I had to find another therapist and ended up going to the local nail shop where it was noisy, clinical and the most unique massage I've ever gotten.

The woman was an older woman and only kept me on my back for the entire hour. she towled me on my glutes, but only when she wasn;t working on them. I didn't feel any sexual anything , but moreso a freedom of absolute relaxation because there was no overly tucked draping and weird hangups about nudity and exposure - it was just perfect for warmth and structure with a free feeling massage and well being.

and then quite by accident I found my latest male MT. After around 8 years of fine tuning my massage preference to only ask for neck, arms/hands feet and glute/back work with deep tissue pressure and flexibility stretching, I finally experienced a MT whos touch actually brings me energy. amazing energy. and not only sexual energy...I mean I felt absolutely invigorated and had the best week ever, physically and emotionally and yes, actually, sexually. I actually likes the way he touches me, but I'm not saying that I am attracted to him at all - I am more focused on the sensation of touch as I am soooo starved for touch that it just seems to be bringing me to life.

my question after that long post, is this: how do I express or communicate that feedback to him without sounding weird, inappropriate or creepy?? Also, I cannot stand the snug drape that he does which makes me feel constricted or that I am wearing a diaper or something and I absolutely hate it, but how would I address that ? there are so many rules and restrictions on what you can and can't do or say these days that I don't want to offend anyone, but I would like to continue to fine tune my massage sessions to continue to get the amazing energy exchange that i am getting out of it.

ok thanks for your time reading this,

baracuda

 

[jean t]

Female client & male MT situations

how do I express or communicate that feedback to him without sounding weird, inappropriate or creepy??

You say something like, "Wow, your work really energizes me, thank you so much!". Saying anything beyond that means risking losing a therapist you really seem to like.

Also, I cannot stand the snug drape that he does which makes me feel constricted or that I am wearing a diaper or something and I absolutely hate it, but how would I address that ?

Most Massage Schools teach what is called the "diaper drape" to provide maximum modesty while allowing the MT to have the most access. Some folks may feel comfortable enough to want no drape on their body, but then you are both putting your MT at risk for breaking state or local laws and violating the MT's own ethics and sense of comfort level.

Again, attempting to ask for less draping and/or expressing feelings of "Sexual energizing" are more than likely reasons for this or any MT to discontinue services.

 

[Angry:(]

hi thanks for your reply -
I like the draping actually because it keeps me warm - but i just don't like the tucking in of the sheet under my body it's just too restricting, would it be ok to ask for no tuck?

 

[bebe27]

I think you should ask your therapist for whatever makes you most comfortable. If he is professional and trained properly he will tell you if your request is illegal or if he feels uncomfortable with that arrangement.

In Texas draping is not required but I don't know any therapists who don't use some form of drape. No matter how much lip service we give to the idea that a nude body is just that, in sexually repressed America where a nude body is highly sexualized, having an undraped client of the opposite (or same, for that matter) sex on the table can be quite distracting and it is easy to lose focus on the area to which your attention should be directed.

I'm not sure how others feel, but my job as a therapist has nothing to do with renewing or revitalizing my client's sexual energy. :?

 

[sweetie-pie]

MT of Opposite Sex

I am new here and have been enlightened by reading a number of posts. I truly enjoy a massage and didn't come to appreciate until the past few years and I'm 63. I guess fortunately at this age, I don't have quite the problem with spontaneous erections as I might have years ago.

As far as draping goes, I understand the need for it, I guess. But...I too feel constricted especially in, what I now know is called a diaper drape, and feel a little foolish. I had one MT, that worked on my right glute because I usually have an ache there and and she was able to really relax it, realized later it is because I always have my wallet in my right hand back pocket. I went to a male MT and he was great, his massage was very vigorous and yet totally nonsexual, and he was not quite as strict about being draped. I'm not certain of laws here in Virginia though. It does seem there is a difference depending on what county one might be in.

If possible, I would prefer to not be draped at all, or a just a towel over my midsection if it were a female. And honestly, I don't have a great desire for a female to see me completely nude, in a massage context that is. Somewhat of a personal hangup.