Flying Haggis

[Leonie]

A big Edinburgh lawyer went haggis hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a flying haggis, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a flying haggis and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Edinburgh and, if you don't let me get that haggis, I'll sue you and take everything you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in this part of Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this with the Scottish Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cowpat.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old goat. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said,





"Naw, I give up. You can have the haggis."