For the lonely and isolated, massage provides a much-needed touch of intimacy - The Outline

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Siobhan Towey bookends appointments with 15 minutes to just talk, during which she gets a sense of what clients are hoping to achieve and how they found the experience. Some arrive with a highly detailed sense of what theyโ€™d like her to work on, while others are uncomfortable voicing any issues or preferences. Which is fine โ€” experience has taught her to tease out whatโ€™s really going on when someone says theyโ€™ve come in because theyโ€™re tired, or stressed, or just because.

Towey isnโ€™t a psychoanalyst โ€” if a client brings up a psychological issue, she just listens โ€” but as a massage therapist, her work can be viewed as a form of therapy. Emotions often run high; physical and mental pain are frequently intertwined. When someone cries or laughs on the table, Towey checks in with them, asking if they want to stop or if need space. Sheโ€™s considering adding grief to the intake form that all new clients fill out, in which they specify the areas theyโ€™d like to work on and any existing injuries or medical conditions, including mental illness, insomnia, and stress. In her experience, psychological issues can manifest as pain, stress, and fatigue. To lie on the table is to be vulnerable. Itโ€™s not uncommon for clients to tell her, unprompted, that they should really start working out, or eating better, or doing something about weight theyโ€™ve gained.


Siobhan Towey in her Brooklyn massage studio. Photo by Pete Voelker


But the experience can also facilitate a unique bond between Towey and the people she massages, particularly the regulars. Lives unspool in between sessions, like the woman saw her following a miscarriage, throughout a new pregnancy, and after giving birth to a healthy baby. Another regular presented her a bottle of champagne last Christmas: โ€œHe was like, โ€˜Youโ€™re just always here for us.โ€™โ€ She is a rare constant for her clients; she hears about their ups and downs while, to a certain extent, feeling the physical effects that come with them. Practices such as hers and many of the other 5,500-plus licensed massage therapists in the New York metropolitan area offer a special kind of intimacy.


New York City is a place where strangers exist on top of one another. Days in which you donโ€™t find yourself pressed up against a strangerโ€™s armpit on the subway or arenโ€™t coughed on in a crowd can be chalked up as a win. And yet despite the ever-present sense of proximity, the power of platonic human touch remains out of reach for many. In general, its role in society has been demoted, according to Steve Cole, a professor of medicine, psychiatry, and behavioral sciences at the UCLA School of Medicine. โ€œThe good news is people are treating each other with more respect,โ€ he said. The bad news is that weโ€™re not necessarily designed for this distance. Physical contact has been shown to help reduce stress and increase empathy. โ€œIn agrarian human communities, rarely does more than an hour pass without contact with someone else,โ€ Cole added.

The major caveat to this, of course, is that touch is only a salve when the contact is wanted. When itโ€™s not, its ability to calm and soothe doesnโ€™t just evaporate, it reverses into a force capable of producing emotional and physical distress. Itโ€™s an important distinction, one that, for many of us, feels stunningly obvious, even if what constitutes wanted versus unwanted physical contact is anything but. A heightened awareness of this boundary, as Cole stated, likely contributes to fewer spontaneous physical interactions between strangers and acquaintances โ€” though itโ€™s worth noting that such an awareness, and the greater freedom from unwanted touch that comes with it, feels like an overall net positive for society.


Photo by Pete Voelker


Along with shifting social norms, a number of culture-spanning structural changes have helped displace touch. (A non-exhaustive list: Young people with college degrees are more likely to move to cities where many are geographically isolated from their families; they are forming long-term romantic partnerships later in their lives than previous generations did; and as digital natives, they are more comfortable with forging and maintaining relationships online rather than in real life.) Massage is one of the few acceptable ways to fill this absence, said Cole. You can say you are coming in because you pulled a muscle, even if the real reason is that you โ€œhavenโ€™t been touched by another human being in months,โ€ he added.

While Towey rarely receives explicitly sexual requests from clients, she suspects that a percentage of appointments are motivated by a desire for contact and connection. โ€œI have clients where I feel like massage [provides] that,โ€ she said.

Itโ€™s can be a lot to handle, which is why she wonโ€™t book more than three sessions in a day. She charges $104 for an hour-long session, although her hourly wage is significantly less than that, once costs are deducted; running your own practice can be expensive due to rent and overhead. But so is working for someone else. Spas typically take more than 50 percent of the cost of a session.


Photo by Pete Voelker


For massage therapists in New York, the average annual median wage is $45,510, although those in the 90th percentile of earners make nearly double that. Toweyโ€™s income has fluctuated over the years, ranging from around $30,000 to over $50,000 depending on the overhead and the number of hours she works (since having her daughter, she no longer works full-time).

People often turn to massage for medicinal purposes, including to help with recovery following a surgery or injury. Most insurance plans, however, wonโ€™t cover it, and massage sessions in New York state are taxed. โ€œWe are in this in between place,โ€ Towey said.

Much of her job depends on correctly assessing a situation and responding in a way that helps clients rather than hurt them. Each session, which runs between 30 minutes to 90 minutes, requires her to make dozens of decisions: the best way to relieve someoneโ€™s tightness, how much pressure to apply, and whether to talk with the client about any of those things or allow them to relax in silence.


Peopleโ€™s bodies hold clues, which is what drew her to massage therapy in the first place. This was back in the late โ€˜90s, when she was an undergraduate at NYU, studying acting. Before workshops, her classmates would give each other massages as a warm up. Even then, with no training or any real sense of what she was doing, massage was satisfying, like putting together a puzzle. It still feels that way: Strangers come to her, and she must determine the relevant pieces โ€” whether thereโ€™s an injury or structural issues, which muscles are involved, how much pressure a client is comfortable with, whether the area feels swollen or dry or hot โ€” and arrange them in a way that provides some relief.


Photo by Pete Voelker


Itโ€™s gotten easier over the years. By now, she can scan a subway car and identify the sources of bad posture, uneven gaits, and general lack of symmetry in her fellow riders. (She tries to turn off this part of her brain when she leaves the studio, with mixed success.)

Muscles provide Towey with detailed insights. Injuries imperceptible in the light of day reveal themselves on the table, as does the everyday havoc life wrecks on our bodies: The strained necks of new, breastfeeding mothers. The tight hips of runners. The messed-up shoulders and poor posture of desk-bound workers, which Towey cheerfully demonstrated for me.

โ€œItโ€™s doing this,โ€ she said, removing her sweater to better illustrate the stooped posture common among those of us who spend our days slouched in front of a computer screen. โ€œItโ€™s really rotating your shouldersโ€ โ€” she slumped further forward โ€” โ€œwhich constricts all the stuff in the front, like your neck.โ€ Meanwhile, โ€œthe stuff back here,โ€ she said, pointing to the middle of her shoulder blade, โ€œis overstretched.โ€ Like a rubber band thatโ€™s been pulled so aggressively that itโ€™s lost its elasticity, the upper shoulder muscles tire and weaken. Demonstration over, she pulled her sweater back on and sat back up, her posture upsettingly straight.


Photo by Pete Voelker


By now, she knows to reserve judgement. โ€œYou never know what someone is going through,โ€ she said. Sometimes โ€œI think my job is to create a comfortable space for them to be in their bodies,โ€ Towey said. โ€œThereโ€™s a sense of, โ€˜hereโ€™s your hand.โ€™โ€ It can be surprisingly easy, sheโ€™s found, for people to forget that.

On a good day at work the client on the table ceases to be a person who is lonely or connected, rich or struggling financially, friendly or standoffish, skinny or fat, grieving or content, a stranger or a friend. Personality and physical attributes melt away until โ€œitโ€™s just muscle and bones,โ€ she said. And in that moment, the only goal is to figure out what the tissue is telling her.

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  30. Annie Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ANNIE SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLEโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒSCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ (647) 891-9688โ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ (416) 291-8879โ˜Ž๏ธ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…NEW MANAGEMENT๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ”ฅGORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: ๐Ÿ”ฅ Mia๐Ÿ˜ beautiful young Singapore girl. Mia has a very sexy body, and beautiful busty boobs and golden blonde hair. She can give a very good teasing and relaxing massage with a sensual great playful HAPPY service. So very sexy beauti
  31. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix blossom Spa โ™จ๏ธโ™จ๏ธโ™จ๏ธtable shower ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘body scrub๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน5124 Dundas W Etobicoke โ˜Ž๏ธ416-817-3366 Nice girl Luna is joining.
  32. Eva Jaymini Care (Prev Anna at Aqua Blue Scarboro:
    Are you looking for amazing massage? ๐Ÿ‘„ Busty EVA is available on Sunday ๐Ÿ‘„ AKA Anna from Aqua Blue Spa 114 Anaconda Scarboro ๐Ÿ‘„ Visit Etobicoke and have an amazing XXX time โ˜Ž๏ธ 4167-354-2009
  33. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: For Saturday November 9, 2024, our attendants will be Opal ๐Ÿ˜, Vicky ๐Ÿคฉ, Lucy โค๏ธ, Ivy ๐Ÿ˜˜ and Christina ๐Ÿ”ฅ Call 905-479-6668 to book!
  34. Eva Jaymini Care (Prev Anna at Aqua Blue Scarboro:
    Are you horny? ๐Ÿ‘„ EVA is available on Friday night ๐Ÿ‘„ AKA Anna from Aqua Blue Spa 114 Anaconda Scarboro ๐Ÿ‘„ Visit Etobicoke and have an amazing XXX time โ˜Ž๏ธ 4167-354-2009
  35. Shangri-la Spa:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Freedom Fri ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’– Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: Richmond Hill & Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 9 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” Aaliyah, Tina, Coco, Cici, JPN Yui, Super Happy, Echo, Selena & Dorisโ€” ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ Ring us ๐Ÿ“ž647-695-6354 or text us ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169โœจ 160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, RichmondHill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  36. AliceSpa:
    FRIDAY at ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—–๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต๐Ÿด-๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด๐Ÿต๐Ÿด. Alice spa today has 3 girls today: ADA (11:30am-9pm): is a taller girl from Korea with a pretty face, slim with a big booty. She has good massage, can do bbj and cim. *New Girl LISA (12pm-9pm): is a Korean internet celebrity, young early 20โ€™s, milky white skin, slim 5โ€™4โ€ with C Cups & long black hair. Great face AND figure, your viagra
  37. Newspring@:
    Nu spring spa @ โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅsexy hot busty Canadian ๐ŸŒธJapanese ๐ŸŒธKorean girls working at Markham โ˜Ž๏ธ416-669-8508๐Ÿš—7-15 Karachi dr Markhamโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ
  38. DONSHIVA:
    any good Happy Endings SPs in Atlanta
  39. Sunrise Spa:
    ๐Ÿ˜˜ We have a wonderful Asian spa in downtown Toronto ๐Ÿ˜˜ 302 Adelaide St W, 2nd Floor ๐Ÿ˜˜ Today is Jennifer, Coco and Emily ๐Ÿ˜˜ 416-916-7276
  40. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Meet๐ŸŒธTina๐ŸŒธKim๐ŸŒธValentinaCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  41. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒบwelcome to wonder spaโ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-5000-800๏ผŒopen10 to10.we have 4young beautiful girls working everyday,๐Ÿ’„New young girl Tiffanyis very friendly nice girl,providing deep tissue massage and nice body slim,๐Ÿ’„Joey is very good looking,big breasted service queen so popular,,Amy is long hair Vietnamese can do everything what you like๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘™,come to try๐Ÿ’„๐Ÿท๐ŸทHave nice weekend
  42. Red Rose Spa:
    ๐ŸŒธ We have 11 hot brown girls today ๐ŸŒธ MOON, SABHA, MALIYA, ASHA, NISHA, PAYAL PEARL, MIMI, ANGEL ๐ŸŒธ 2588 Birchmount ๐ŸŒธ 2 Invergordon ๐ŸŒธ 647-702-8800 ๐ŸŒธ Please visit for a great erotic massage
  43. Sparkling Spa:
    Sultry Nympho Susan is working at Sparkling Spa with Service Queen Zoe today. Real pictures of Susan & Zoe๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏCall or text to book appointment ๐Ÿ“ฒ โšก๏ธ๐ŸŒŸSPARKLING SPAโšก๏ธ๐ŸŒŸ โœ…50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8โœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒMarkham, ON L3R 8X4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ (905) 604-8186 Spa Land Lineโ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ (437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phoneโ˜Ž๏ธ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY
  44. AmoreSpaEtobicoke:
    AMORE SPA 127 Westmore Drive, Unit 106C Etobicoke, ON M9V 3Y6 โ˜Ž 437-688-2407 โ˜Ž This is the only official schedule for AMORE SPA: Friday at AMORE SPA: CHERRY & LILY. CHERRY is a proven superstar, Slim Asian with a pretty face, all natural A or B Cups, long nipples, slim waist & small round bum. Her services are legendary. LILY is slim, elegant
  45. SL West:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Freedom Fri ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’– Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: Richmond Hill & Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 9 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” Aaliyah, Tina, Coco, Cici, JPN Yui, Super Happy, Echo, Selena & Dorisโ€” ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ Ring us ๐Ÿ“ž647-695-6354 or text us ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169โœจ 160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, RichmondHill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  46. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅTODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: Anna๐Ÿ˜˜- A stunning sexy girl from Hong
  47. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 5 young beautiful girls are working today, young fun Ivy 30โ€™s open mind with big buttocks and young new pretty Lily 25โ€™s with curve body,Young cute Summer 30โ€™s slime ,sweet GFE Coco and sexy naughty Tina are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  48. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix blossom Spaโ™จ๏ธ โ™จ๏ธโ™จ๏ธ 5124 Dundas W Etobicoke โ˜Ž๏ธ 416-817-3366 Now there are 3 girls working, sexy girl Mia big boobs 36 DD hot body slide๐Ÿ˜˜ Nice girl Luna is joining.
  49. SugarLoveSpa:
    Friday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: ANA, ELLA & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž ANA is a young, short and sweet lady, 5โ€™1 & 105 Lbs, very tight, with a small to medium booty. Ana is a versatile honey who provides great massage, & can accommodate your needs. ELLA is a lovely Thai sweetheart, 5โ€™1โ€ with C Cups, smooth skin and a very pleasing attitude.
  50. Sunrise Health Centre:
    Tiana & Nana are here Today! Call/Text: (647) 325-8086 ๐Ÿ’ฆ We have Hot & Sexy Girls Every Day. They all do Extra Services & are Very Open-Minded ~ Drop In Anytime - Walk-Ins Are Always Welcome! Unit 27, 10 East Wilmot Street, Richmond Hill
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