Going to Toronto

[sal]

You should never...

...name a company that sells supplies for restrooms..Swisher. It's just so obvious and a bit suspect I think.

You should never...

...wonder where hot dogs come from anymore. If you like them, eat them. If you don't, keep your big, fat mouth shut.

You should never...

...pull anyone's finger. Not even the Pope's. Trust no one.

You should never...

...tell your kids there are no monsters under the bed. Everyone knows they're in the closet anyway.

You should never...

...attempt to operate the self-scan at the grocery store unless you have successfully programmed the clock on a VCR.

You should never...

...yell movie in a crowded firehouse. Pandemonium will ensue.

You should never...

...try to describe a funny moment in a movie that I have not seen. I won't get it and you'll just be embarrassed when I don't laugh. I'm thinking of you on this one...really.

You should never...

...ask me for the "honest" truth. That's code for "lie to me" and I'm too dim to realize it. What you'll get is the hard truth.

You should never...

... have a job that requires wearing a nametag after the age of 30. Think about it.

You should never...

...tell a woman she looks good for her age. You're asking the lightning to strike.

You should never...

...make fun of bald men. Make fun of men fighting baldness by having an afghan woven into their scalp. Bald is brave.

You should never...

...go along with the crowd. Individually, a person is smart. In large groups however, weird things can happen. Like Milli Vanilli winning a Grammy. There's a stroke of genuis!

:woot ! Whiskey Lizard

 

[Adam F-p]

¦!·;3612615']

a plane is on its way to toronto, when a
blonde in economy class gets up and moves
to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this,
and asks to see her ticket.
She then tells the blonde that she paid
for economy class, and that
she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies,
"i'm blonde, i'm beautiful,
i'm going to toronto,
and i'm staying right here".

The flight attendant goes into the ****pit
and tells the pilot and the co-pilot
that there is a blonde bimbo
sitting in first class that belongs in economy,
and won't move back to her seat.


The co-pilot goes back to the blonde
and tries to explain that because
she only paid for economy she will
have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies,
i'm going to toronto,
and i'm staying right here".

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he
probably should have the police waiting
when they land to arrest this blonde
woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde?
I'll handle this, i'm married
to a blonde. I speak blonde".


He goes back to the blonde and
whispers in her ear, and she says,
"oh, i'm sorry," and gets up and goes
back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot
are amazed and asked him what he said
to make her move without any fuss.


I told her, 'first class isn't going to toronto.'​