handling 'talkers"

[Jinyan]

i have a couple of clients that are real chatmassageplanet.netoxes.i think that some of the chatter is part of their personal relaxation process.... but i am trying to work out how to help them get out of their heads & into their bodies.i do much better work when the client is relatively quiet (feedback is nice, asking questions about me is distracting).problem is, i am somewhat of a chatmassageplanet.netox myself, & i find it very easy to fall into the small talk place, right along with them.  the clients i have in mind don't seem to mind.  they are still pleased with my work....  but i don't like it.  it leaves me feeling unsatisfied, as if the quality of my work is somewhat compromised.any feedback on this?peacejen

 

[Designer~Wife]

I just came from a client who has talked her way through the last two visits.  It does distract me and I don't feel that I give as good of a massage as I do when they are quiet.  It is HER massage though.  I try to give minimal input.  I think this client just needs to get things out.  It is only since she started her new job that she is such a talker.  With new clients I will always let them know that they can talk if they like or be quiet, whatever relaxes them.  I'm fine either way.  I'm trying to look at the chatmassageplanet.netoxes as a challenge........I need to find a way to rise to the occasion and give the same level massage as when they are NOT talking.  If it really does bother you, then try cutting in now and again and saying "Sorry, to inerrupt, but this muscle is having a problem relaxing, can I ask you to just take a deep breath and exhale."  Have them do that a couple of times.  Maybe they will realize how much more relaxed they are.  

 

[DOGFOOD]

it does go by faster-- sometimes so fast that i can't hardly remember what i have done i like the idea of asking them to breathe.  in fact, this is one of the ways i have handled it so far.  you are right KH, that it is THEIR massage, and whatever helps them relax should be fine with me.i have one client in particular, though, who does the small talk thing where he asks questions.... it is a lot easier for me when they want to discharge their own stuff... but how many times can i tell this guy that yes, my son is 5yo... yk?  it feels like he is uncomfortable with silence, (there is music) so he wants to fill it in the way that works in other parts of his life- asking a lot of questions.  peacejen

 

[papa66]

i think i may need to work on my ability to steer the conversation back to the client as the subject.  that would probably be a skill that would pay off a lot in the long run.

 

[ybird100]

I have only had a couple of talkers - guys, who I think were a bit nervous, and wanted to steer the conversation to work, and suchlike.  The first thing my MT said to me before the start of our first session was 'I don't tend to talk much once I start working, so I can concentrate' which I liked.  

 

[Chris Masin]

In life outside the massage room I have a huge capacity for rambling on.  I have a few clients who really like to talk and many who rarely do but I have made a point of watching myself so that I am doing about half the talking that they are.  It isn't like I count the words but watch for times that I realize I have been making all the noise for the last few minutes and shut the h up.  Usually this means that clients start out chatty, I end up slowing it down with careful and less voluminous responses, and they follow that flow and silence ensues within 10 minutes or so.  I still have a couple that will talk the whole way through and I feel that that is just part of their personal relaxation pattern.  Variety is the spice....Steve

 

[No Way Jan]

I think talking is a release for many people, whether they are nervous or it is a way for them to wind down from the busy lives they lead.Allowing them to empty their heads, so-to-speak, doesn't bother me.  I engage them actively for the first 5-10 minutes of the session then I give the occasional "uhuh" or "really" and let them discharge their batteries.  Usually 15-20 minutes into the session they have relaxed and are floating in the ether.  Usually there is very little conversation happening except for me asking questions pertaining to their session.I do have a couple of clients who talk throughout the session -- I figure it is their time to do with as they please -- if they want to talk so be it.  Who am I to tell them that it is inappropriate or it isn't a satisfying wayto spend an hour?  If they ask me questions I answer them truthfully and then redirect the conversation to them.When I find the chatter prevents me from concentrating on my work I will ask them to focus on their breathing and think about the area I'm working on -- somewhat of a refocusing technique to draw their attention to their body -- for most that is enough to quiet or lessen the chatter.When I am doing very specific deep tissue work that I know is extremely unpleasant I will engage my client in conversation to distract them from the intensity.  Sometimes a bit of redirection from focusing on the intensity is all it takes to get the tissue to release.

 

[Ramin]

I have one client in particular that can't relax without talking.  I can move his head, limbs, do compressions, whatever...all without resistance as long as he is talking.  But the minute he stops and tries to relax, he holds his muscles.  Needless to say, we talk the entire time, and his massage goes by really fast!Katykangaroo

 

[Jasanna]

LOL i love the sign idea  ;D

 

[eternalabyss]

Seforum.xxxgnant, sorry, I didn't mean to come across like that. I don't mean that the therapist should seem uninterested or be rude. I'm just don't think that the therapist should engage the client in an active conversation. The session should belong to the client. If they need to talk, let them, but don't allow them  to draw you into an active conversation. I think the client loses something when that happens.-Melody

 

[Fishie<3]

People may use talk as a way to "connect" so they can trust. Talkers can be distracting, but its a sign that the person is enjoying your presence....and your work is comforting.  At the very least, they know that you are someone who is focused on them and listening. And I think its important to listen, as whatever is on their minds may be contributing to the tension they present. Whether you manipulate it out of the flesh, or listen, intently interested, you've helped them get it out. Seforum.xxxg makes a wonderful point, make sure talk is about them.I've had experiences like Fozzy, where the client cracked me up! Those sessions are wonderful and really fun, always memorable. Laughter is profoundly therapeutic!  

 

[Zoey is getting so big!]

I like all my talkerstalkers pay my billsI have yet to not learn something from talkerstalking can lead to a much deeper conectionwhile at the same time it can allow for a much needed releaseit can open the doors for crying and just let people ventso my .02  talking is a good thing

 

[xeso G]

I confess as a client, I'm a talker too. I am generally pretty upfront about this with other MTs when I book a session.As a MT I tend to start new clients supine, so that during the first few minutes of the massage they can get used to my touch, and tell me if I am using to much pressure.  Once they go prone, it's usually easy for them to get lost in the rhythm of the massage and drift off.I do agree that with talking it's often a trust issue... and I feel that "establishing a rapport" with a client is a vital thing if one expects that client to rebook.  And it's their hour... if talking helps them to relax, I'm for it. I trust that they're getting what they need from the session.  Maybe what they need is for someone to "listen." I do feel it's fine to redirect their attention to their body though... it will help them to make the "mind-body" connection.I did have a college student come in a couple years ago suffering from bad panic attacks, she'd been referred by another client with the same condition. She feared she'd not be able to go back to school when it started they were so bad.  The college student and I spent a total of 6 sessions together, the first one had us both laughing.  Afterwards our work turned a bit more serious. We both noticed when she laughed her breathing changed and she was much more relaxed. So, as her "homework" between sessions,  I suggested she watch funny movies and ask people to tell her jokes. We called it her, "Laugh Therapy." She really liked the massage therapy too.By the end of the summer her panic attacks were not so much a problem, and I gave her the name of a MT I knew not far from her campus.

 

[Evil Laurie :)]

I usually leave it up to my clients, I've had a few newbies ask if I prefer if they talk or be quiet, and I tell them that it's their money, and it's up to them.  I have some clients who talk through the whole session, we just chat about anything, and some clients that don't talk at all.