Headaches

[Jacob Gilbert]

Bill had been having terrible headaches for months and eventually went to
see his GP. After a week he went back for the results of his tests. "I have some
good news and some bad news." said the doctor. "I can certainly get rid of
your headaches but they are caused by your testicles pressing on the base of your
spine and the only way to cure it is through castration." Bill had no option
as the headaches were unbearable so sadly agreed to the op.

A month later he was rejoicing in finally being headache clear and decided
to celebrate with a new wardrobe of clothes.

The shop he entered was staffed by a crusty old salesman and Bill asked
for 10 new shirts.

"Certainly Sir," replied the salesman, "size 16 neck."

"How did you know that without measuring me?" asked Bill.

"Fifty years in the trade Sir." replied the salesman. The shirts fitted beautifully.

"Now I'll need three suits." said Bill.

"Certainly Sir, inside leg 32 inches, chest 44 inches" came the reply after looking Bill up and down.

"How did you know that without measuring me?" asked Bill.

"Fifty years in the trade Sir." replied the salesman. The suits fitted perfectly.

"And would Sir like some new shoes?"

"Oh yes please." replied Bill.

"Size 9, F fitting" claimed the salesman.

"How did you know that without measuring me?" asked Bill.

"Fifty years in the trade Sir." replied the salesman. The shoes fitted like a glove.

"Perhaps Sir would like some new underwear?" was the next suggestion.

"Of course, ten pairs of boxer shorts" replied Bill.

"36 inch waist for Sir." said the salesman.

"Ah, now I've got you." said Bill. "I wear size 34 inch."

"Oh, no Sir." said the salesman. "If you wore size 34 they would press your testicles against the base of your spine and give you terrible headaches."