How long should I wait to introduce my boyfriend to my children after seperating...

[Jenny M]

...from their dad? 2 months ago, I discovered my husband was having an affair. We seperated and I filed for divorce. the marriage was technically "over" years ago, and I have since re-connected with my ex boyfriend who I am still in love with. We are serious, but I am wondering when the right time would be to introduce my children to him? My youngest is 9, and I want to make her feelings a priority. She is the most important thing to me, and I dont want to emotionally damage her.
Gary B. I appreciate your response. I asked for opinions, and I got it. but clearly I am concerned, or I wouldn't ask. My daughter is my priority, and the only time I see him is when she is with her dad on his visiting days. I know how it looks, but you cant say I am selfish, when I am simply living a life and trying to hold everything together after my ex husband broke it all down.

 

[Willow]

1)you shouldn't be dating anyone, your kids need all your energy right now. and i don't care if he is the long lost love of your life. Your kids are your only priority.

2) see above.

 

[Omega_Ray's_Gal]

So you been seeing this guy for two months and you already want to introduce him to your child... wait.... at least a year or so when you knwo the relationship is stable.

 

[Robert in Toronto]

Who is actually having the affair. You filed for divorce & are in the sack with another guy in 8 weeks? Me thinks she does protest too much.

 

[Julian n]

hmmm...this will freak him out anyway...but the longer you wait ...the more you can stay together without too much stress ...yeah wait for about 4 months at least..

 

[Courtney]

When, if, you become sure that this isn't just a temporary fling. It's only been 2 months since their dad left...and it's not healthy for men to be coming and going.

I, personally, would wait a minimum of 6 months before i introduced them. Give the kids time to settle after the divorce (as it's as hard on them as it is on you) and give me time to be sure this man is worth introducing to my children.

 

[Zombie88]

At least 3-6 months until it's established as a "real" relationship.