How Many Church People Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?

[kayla_b_323]

How many church people does it take to change a light bulb?


Charismatics: Only one. Hand's already in the air.

Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three committees to approve the change. Oh, and one to also provide a casserole.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Methodists: 10 One to change the bulb. Nine to attack the preacher, because someone's grandmother gave that bulb to the church!!

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.



[sm=rollaugh.gif]

 

[LeonKrahe]

Hi Satori,
Here's a slightly longer list:


LIGHT BULBS

Question: How many Christians does it take to change a light
bulb?


Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.


Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness


Presbyterians:
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.


Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.


Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.


Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and
seven to say how much they liked the old one better.


Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.


Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are
invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light bulb Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.


Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.
Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.


Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church lighting policy.


Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.


Christian Scientists: Two. One to awaken the other
from the dream that light could ever originate
from a material element.


Amish: What's a light bulb?



Love and peace,

Judy

 

[P V]

Hahaha!!! Thanks, Judy, those are great!! [sm=rollaugh.gif]

 

[learned by living]