How to get the massage you want

[Wems]

I'm after some input here, from therapists and clients, and thought this could be an interesting topic too.

A week on Saturday I am doing my first complimentary health show as an exhibitor, and as part of that I have agreed to do a 45minute talk. The topic of which I have chosen is "How to get the massage you want". There are so many resources, books and guide etc about giving massages - but not that many about how to receive a massage - how to get the most out of your treatment.

I am of the belief that to get a really good massage you have to know what you want from the treatment, how you want to feel at the end of it. The problem is how do you describe that to your therapist? It's not an easy task at all.

Out of interest what tips do you give your clients when they come for a treatment to get the most from it, or if your a client what would help you make sure the next massage you get is the best one you've had.

After the talk I'm planning on writting it all up to go on my website so will let you know when its there for those who are interested.

Thanks
Mat xxx

 

[Canadian Bacon]

You are right, this is an interesting topic. Many clients may not know how to describe what they really want. First timers, especially will probably not even have a clue what they want.

Communication is the key! That's what I would stress: that they not be afraid to communicate. I think it's important that the client be made to feel comfortable enough by the therapist that they can speak up. I would recommend that if they don't feel comfortable letting their therapist know that they want more pressure or that the room is chilly or whatever, that perhaps it is time to find a new therapist. Likewise, if they find that the therapist does not respond to their requests.

I think some of the things that will enhance their experience that they should be free to speak up about are:

* the temperature of the room
* the music selection and/or volume
* the lighting
* the pressure
* the type of lubricant used
* their position: if a position makes them feel uncomfortable, they should speak up
* the body parts being massaged: if they want more time on a particular body part, they should feel free to say so, even in the middle of the massage. If they don't want a particular body part massaged, they should say so
* the noise level of the room
* conversation: it should be up to the client if they want to converse or not
* level of undress: clients should always know that they should never be forced to take anything off that makes them uncomfortable


In an effort to make the client's experience more enjoyable, I will try to encourage them to let me know if there is anything I can do to make their experience better. I let them know that I will not be hurt or insulted and that this is their massage and they are the ones paying, so they should let me know if I can enhance the experience (nothing illegal of course).

I look on the intake form and will discuss things with them that I see they have checked off. I will always look at their occupation, as this will often times give me an indication of how they use their body. For returning clients, I will chat with them "how's it going?" etc. when they first come in and that will tell me a great deal. Maybe they have just been on a ski trip or a long business trip. Perhaps their mother is in the hospital. Maybe they had the flu a week or two ago. Maybe they have been knitting a blanket for a friend who is expecting. All these things will tell me that they may need certain body parts massaged a little more or that they are carrying additional stress or that perhaps I should do some additional stretching. I believe that this enhances their experience and they walk out receiving a better massage. They most likely would not have communicated the knitting thing to getting a massage, as they probably don't realize how it is stressing their forearms. Maybe they weren't yet feeling how wearing their high heels so much during the holidays was affecting their calfs so they won't know to ask for extra work there, but they sure will feel so much better when they leave if I spend a little more time there after chatting with them about their holidays and finding out they had tons of parties (and I will ask if they have been wearing heels a lot).

So, I would encourage communication! The client should feel free to communicate anything that might make them feel more comfortable. Therapists should be picking up cues from casual conversations. Clients that are aware of this might become more chatty or might start saying "I don't know if this makes any difference, but........"

 

[Dina W]

I run into the following "road blocks" in client thinking on a regular basis; perhaps they would be good things to talk about in your speech.

1) Clients are often unwilling to communicate what they want out of their massage because they think they will miss out on what they don't know to ask for.

2) A good massage must be really painful to be effective.

I would love to read what you come up with on your website...let me know.

Good Luck!

 

[Blue monk 010]

One therapist at the chiropractor hardly uses any lotion, so all I feel is more of a tense rubbing and I simply don't relax as much. For a guy, I've got more than an average amount of hair to begin with, so maybe I need more lotion. However, I may not have the nerve to say anything to here. Am I being too picky? There are four therapists at the chiropractor so I don't get this particular one that often. If I was paying $70 for an hour massage, maybe I would say something. But since it is part of insurance and is mixed with chiropractic, and I only pay $10, do I really have the right to complain about anything?

One other thing I like is when therapists put a cushion under your knees/calves. Without it, my back tends to get stiff after awhile and I also get foot cramps. I will ask for the pillow/cushion but it is nice when they take care of it without me even having to ask. It's great too when therapists at the start of the session tell you to please tell them if anything is uncomfortable or if you want to change anything. This makes me more likely to speak up, when I feel that the therapist wants me to do and makes it comfortable doing so.

 

[pureinsomniac]

.....I only pay $10, do I really have the right to complain about anything?

I don't care if you're paying $1 or if it was FREE! You have every right to say something! It's your body and you have a right to say you don't like what your therapist is doing. She would want to know, I am sure!

I think the biggest obstacle I run into is the client that can't relax. It's hard to relax, I know! But that seems to be one of the big problems. Whether it's because they're not used to someone manipulating their body or they just don't know how to let go.

Breath work seems to help. I have my clients take a nice deep breath and hold it. While they hold it I tell them "Imagine that you cannot move a muscle, the only thing in the world that can hold them up is the table. Now breathe out and let your body melt into the table.". When they breathe out I always hear "Wow! I really wasn't relaxing!".

Steph!

 

[Pompal 09.]

Thanks for the replies guys, they really cover off what I have in mind. Before I go on just want to say - ace88 you should definately make a comment. As Steph says this is your treatment, and it should be the best to make you comfortable.

Back to the talk. I think the really hard thing people have with any form of massage is communication, some feel they shouldn't say anything, some don't know how to communicate what they are feeling.

The talk starts at the begining - finding your therapist. Talk to them, feel comfortable with them - if you don't feel comfortable on the phone how can you relax to let them touch you? Then moves on to cover dress, treatment rooms and the clients work.

It can come as quite a shock to a lot of clients, but they don't realise that the therapist doesn't do all the work. The client has to do some too and part of that is communication. If a stroke isn't comfortable or they just don't like it they should speak up. Too often they think that the therapist knows what they are doing so it must be good.

Its been mentioned here already - describing what you want from your treatment. That can be really hard. I have a list of the six reasons people come for a massage. Six pictures with a phrase underneath, for example: "Transform - Become what you were born to be". There is no physical reason, just a very strong visualisation of how the treatment can help you feel at the end. With all six on a piece of paper I have found clients can read them and 90% of the time have a definate connection and desire for one of them.

Then during the threatment I ask my clients to do one thing - to let go. It is such a hard task, but with a little coaching can really help them get the most from a treatment. This letting go consists of three things - first and foremost breathing. Nice slow deep breaths. When I begin a treatment before anything else I place my hand on the lower back and ask the client to take three slow deep breaths. On the second out breath I gently ask them to "feel your body relaxing", and each time without fail you can physically see them relax and loosen.

The second task is to let go of your muscles, keep them relaxed and loose. If the therapist wants to move a leg or arm - let them do the work. You just remember to breath and be loose, your paying them to do the massage so why do work for them.

And finally I ask clients to try and let there mind wander, don't think about the treatment too much. Just feel the strokes but don't analyse them or try to work them out. Allow the mind to drift away.

These three tasks the client does really do make a huge difference! Sorry this has been a bit rushed and knocked together - i've only got a short lunch break today but wanted to share.

Once the talk is done and written up I'll post the information to my website then the link here.

Mat xxx

 

[TWIGGY2]

some (late) observations

I know this thread has been around awhile (but I'm relatively new to this forum)...

I just wanted to comment on the most absolutely frustrating massage(s) I've ever had. When I first moved to this area a few years back, I set about finding a good massage therapist and found one who actually worked for the British Olympic Team a few years back. She works out of her home which is very conveniently located near my own (I've never had that luxury before, but it is nice not to fight half an hour's worth of traffic after a massage). I like the music she uses and the room is always comfortable and she knows all the appropriate trigger points. Nearly perfect...except, no matter how much I mention (request?) it I cannot get her to give a deep enough massage to actually release any tight muscles! She gets all the right spots, but just not deep enough and says (when I try to get her to go deeper) that a massage doesn't have to be deep to be effective. While that can be true, I never found her massages to be effective, just frustratingly close to being so. I don't know, maybe she was developing carpal tunnel syndrome or something but I never could get her to put any weight into the massage and she never indicated any reason for not doing so. I tried her several times but finally have given up and found another therapist who consistently gives the best massages I've ever had (now with virtually no input required from me any more...now THAT is nice!).

 

[Pompal 09.]

I think this is an excellent topic, I learned things just by reading this thread in how to be a better client.

As a client I agree that communication is the biggest barrier to getting a good massage. Initially I was of the mindset, "I don't want to mess them (the MT) up by asking for something specific." Now, while still not 100% comfortable doing it I do speak up more often and have found that in every case the result has been positive.

 

[Derek M]

When I use a new therapist for the first time, I try to inform them of my activities. I inform them that I have been a runner for over 30 years, that I enjoy walking and biking. I inform them that I run trails, so I do lots of hill work, both up and down. So I tell them that I prefer that they spend more time on my legs (especially my calves), glutes, and lower back, rather than spending excesive time on my feet and hands. I never tell them how to give the massage and I never tell them that they can't massage my feet and hands. I always say to them that if they feel that massaging my left ear lobe will help my right calf, then go for it. I also tell them that I prefer the room to be on the warm side, and that I don't have any modisty issues. I feel it's important for the therapist to be relaxed and confortable so they give the massage that feels right to them. So far that approach has worked well for me. I tell the about my activities and areas of concern, then I let them do their work as they see fit.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Feedback feedback feedback

I like a lot of the suggestions above, but the client has to learn not to be shy about giving feedback. I work very deeply. I let people know that up front and I tell them that I will be checking in with them during the massage and that I will only work as deeply as they can tolerate. Good so far. I've found, however, that when I ask "how's that pressure" I usually get a 1 word response: "good". Hmm, not much to go on, so I then ask, "Is it deep enough?" Since my first stroke is usually light and primarily for palpation and assesment of their issues and pain levels, I hope that the answer is "no, you could go deeper". If I don't ask, the client tends not to give me enough detail in their responses and it takes longer to find the right amount of pressure.

Some clients moan and groan during the massage, in a 'gee, that's really hitting the right spot' sort of way and some clients, myself included, tend to be pretty quiet. So I always have to tell my therapist when they are on a good spot or have a good pressure. I studied with my therapist, so we're both comfortable giving detailed feedback and suggestions to one another during massages. I really like clients who give good feedback, also.

So, tell your audience that the massage they receive will depend in large part on the feedback they give to the therapist. If they'd like a little more pressure but a little more to the right, say so. If they are a little chilly, say so, we usually have extra blankets. If I'm pulling body hair, I can use more oil. No one should suffer in silence but you should get the depth you want.