How To Give A Cat A Pill (oldie but still funny)

[binksbailey2000]

1. Pick up a cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill Reviewom floor and cat Reviewom behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat Reviewom bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill Reviewom foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill Reviewom goldfish bowl and cat Reviewom top of wardrobe. Call spouse Reviewom garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold Reviewont and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat Reviewom curtain rail, get another pill Reviewom foil wrap. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures Reviewom hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible Reviewom below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood Reviewom carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat Reviewom neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver Reviewom garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw ripped T-shirt away and fetch new one Reviewom bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve cat Reviewom tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill Reviewom foil-wrap.

13. Tie cat's Reviewont paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves Reviewom shed. Force cat's mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour half a pint of water down throat to wish pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to casualty department, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants Reviewom right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect cat, and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamster.

 

[maruu]

HAHAHAHA so true!!!! When I moved to Ottawa with my oldest cat, it took me, four guys, and about a half hour, to get half a baby gravol into his mouth. Kitties do not like pills!!!!

 

[MarshaMarsha]

Cleo's right. This is just one reason why the cat is pretty much the only thing I didn't make a fuss about when the ex said she was taking it with her. Definitely not a cat fan, dogs are much more agreeable (no offense, Cleo ).

 

[covinher]

Reminds me of a joke I saw yesterday.

Dogs have owners, Cats have stmpf.

 

[infinitesky49]

Hahaha, that's fine, as long as you like THIS kitty - as in ME!

Additional Comments:


SO TRUE!!! I am definitely ruled by my kitties!

 

[britt_bratt_rulz]

Good one!

I heard another one: Cats are like little women in fur coats whereas dogs are like men.

 

[Marissa D]

And to add to the thread, here is the world's laziest cat
RG

http://www.flixxy.com/seagull-and-cat.htm

 

[DukeofDixie]

To my fellow Reviewancophones out there. We've all had days like this. Some more than others

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBdtDDp7Nvk

 

[Arly]

Hey roamingguy, that laziest cat video is hilarious!

I think this cat is too embarrassed to admit he's Reviewom the same species:


Additional Comments:
I tried to give him his medicine, but he kept spitting it out! R.I.P. Mr. Whiskers

 

[Slappy LaRue]

In that we try and mount anything that'll hold still, or the butt sniffing?

 

[zbdblues]

I tried once to give my cat a pill, what a disaster that was!!! I had to put on gloves as my hands were hacked to bits!!!

 

[stupidone!]

AAAAAAAAHAHAHAH Amazing!!!