How To Start A Fight

[Dirtbag Poser Bot]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

______________________________

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a Reviewiend."
And that's when the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
Kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyReviewiend.... I understand he took to drinking right mpter we
Split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started... ________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
That I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
Care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more
Important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
Snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for
A short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, andWhen I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish
Cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

________________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
Slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
Proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
Pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
Weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
Undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
Different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband
Is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes Reviewom 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......

 

[WILLIAM B]

It all began with an iPhone...
March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
He just loved it. Who wouldn't?





I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when
shebought me an iPad.



My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch






September came by so for her birthday i got my wife an iRon.


It was around then that the fight started......

What the wife failed to recognise is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service

 

[tonalc2]

Nice!
And another
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........