How To Wash The Cat!

[gamesixekttu]

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

3. Obtain the cat and carry to the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he/she cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as the paws will be reaching out to maliciously lacerate anything they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times (ignore the thudding on the toilet seat and the hissing, this is normal). This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the front or back door and ensure that there is no one between the toilet and the outside door (as this will result in their hospitalisation).

7. Stand as far behind the toilet as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet like an electrocuted maniac, and run outside spitting and screeching, where he/she will sulk until dry.

Sincerely, The DOG

 

[Gellex ?]

Hihihi

 

[+?+(?_?)+?+]

Loved it MC lol

 

[SanD]

Oh no! MC, is this another extract from your book on keeping pets sweet and subservient?

 

[hzlasuaq]

Justine you guessed! Look out for the book on the shelves soon!

L&L

MC

 

[WILNA S]

Nice 1 Mc

But i would love to see you try it with my cats!!

 

[Stump Bumper]

I am quite ashamed of myself - I am a great cat lover but thought this was hilarious!

Once saw an article on giving a cat a tablet which was also very funny - just had a week of giving my cat tablets - out of a packet of 14 he managed to swallow only 3. the rest are all under the appliances in the kitchen!

Good one MC.

 

[Pompal 09.]

hi Grumbleweed

strange name nothing to do with the Grumbleweeds i hope[sm=dance.gif]

LOL

 

[Jelloise]

My cats are gonne be there to sort you out, claws and all!

 

[Steve-O In AZ]

Down with cats!!!!!!!!

L&L

MC

 

[peecoufsiiwiaiemw]

Hi Daffydd

Yes I do remember the Grumbleweeds but have no idea why I called myself that - just something that someone said to me ages ago when we were talking about names on HP.

I love the names of the some of the folk here. I suppose when I start up as a therapist of one sort or another I'll have to get a more sensitive alias!!

I love the cats eyes....

MC - I am sure you can't be that wicked!!

Chrissy

 

[Angelofmine_09]

Chrissy

I can really be that wicked!!!!!!!

L&L

MC

[sm=newangel.gif]

 

[Roger Costa]

She is that wicked, along with 101 ways to torture a cat she has written the book 101 uses for a plucked chicken and 101 ways to flog a dead horse.

 

[beastt.. :P]

Oh MC

you are so wicked! I did not believe you could do this to a poor cat! I thought you were such a nice, gentle girl!

Anyway.... that was great! I just couldn't stop laughing and when I called Lara, my eldest, to read it too she started crying in laughter. You see... you are making people cry!

 

[Chandra]

Alex

I really would love to do that to a cat ... and didn't you know it's my misison in life to make people cry!!!!!???!!!

L&L

MC

 

[Hana Myers]

MC

I read it to my cats - they have now trotted off up the garden and will no doubt pass the messages on to others.

Don't blame me if the front of your house starts to look like the Stephen King film 'Shapeshifter' (or something like that!!)

(No matter how many times I read it it still makes me cry with laughter though!!)