epevnungihximreuf
New Member
How to wash your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed-that somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well, contuary to popular belief, they don't hae an enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog... do get dirtyand have a variety of odors...from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember dogs will eat anything)
Now we all know cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease the process is out of the question.
So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not a dumb dog who can be led to the tub with lies and a line of kibbles and bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you...you have the advantage of size, strength and the ability to wear protective garments.
1. First...dress for the occassion. A 4-ply rubber wet suitis suggested, along with a healmet, face mask and wealder's gloves.
2. A bathtub with a glass enclosure is preffered to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and a towel in the enclosed bathing areabefore hand. No...blow-drying the cat is not suggested.
4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Possition everything stratically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
5. Find your cat. Use the element of suprise. Pick up your cat as if you were carrying it off to its supper dish. No need to worry aout hte cat noticing your strange attire...the cat barely notices you anyway.
6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom...speed is essential. In one liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding door and drop the cat into the water. While your cat is in a state of shock, locate the kitty Bubbles and squirt whichever part of the cat that is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your entire life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that the cat's fur is soapy. His state of shock has now worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.
7. Best as you can, wearing the wealder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the cieling. If possible, try to give another squirt of kitty bubbles on his exposed body.
8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him/her, rub vigorusly. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass door into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
9. Only try to lather and rinse the cat about 3 times. The cat will realise the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
10. Next, the cat must be dried...No, this is NOT the easiest part. You are tired and the cat has just become permanently attached to your leg. We suggest that you drain the tub in full view of your cat. Reach for the kitty bubbles.
11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precareously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most discusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him/her.
12. Be sure the cat is firmly wrapped in a towel before opening the tub encloseure. Open the bathroom door...put towel wrapped cat down on the floor and step back quickly, and step back into enclosure. Do not emerge until you can see a shreaded towel.
13. In about 2 hours it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there looking like a large hedgehog and plotting revenge.
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed-that somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well, contuary to popular belief, they don't hae an enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).
Cats, like their nemesis, the dog... do get dirtyand have a variety of odors...from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember dogs will eat anything)
Now we all know cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease the process is out of the question.
So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not a dumb dog who can be led to the tub with lies and a line of kibbles and bits.
Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you...you have the advantage of size, strength and the ability to wear protective garments.
1. First...dress for the occassion. A 4-ply rubber wet suitis suggested, along with a healmet, face mask and wealder's gloves.
2. A bathtub with a glass enclosure is preffered to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.
3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and a towel in the enclosed bathing areabefore hand. No...blow-drying the cat is not suggested.
4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Possition everything stratically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
5. Find your cat. Use the element of suprise. Pick up your cat as if you were carrying it off to its supper dish. No need to worry aout hte cat noticing your strange attire...the cat barely notices you anyway.
6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom...speed is essential. In one liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding door and drop the cat into the water. While your cat is in a state of shock, locate the kitty Bubbles and squirt whichever part of the cat that is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your entire life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that the cat's fur is soapy. His state of shock has now worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.
7. Best as you can, wearing the wealder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the cieling. If possible, try to give another squirt of kitty bubbles on his exposed body.
8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him/her, rub vigorusly. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass door into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.
9. Only try to lather and rinse the cat about 3 times. The cat will realise the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.
10. Next, the cat must be dried...No, this is NOT the easiest part. You are tired and the cat has just become permanently attached to your leg. We suggest that you drain the tub in full view of your cat. Reach for the kitty bubbles.
11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precareously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most discusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him/her.
12. Be sure the cat is firmly wrapped in a towel before opening the tub encloseure. Open the bathroom door...put towel wrapped cat down on the floor and step back quickly, and step back into enclosure. Do not emerge until you can see a shreaded towel.
13. In about 2 hours it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there looking like a large hedgehog and plotting revenge.
, 
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