I Need To Change My Doctor

[Sudmeister]

> Boy, I sure wish I knew where to find this
> Dr. I go to him right away.
> Ha Ha!

>
> I love this Doctor
>
> Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
> life. Is this
> true?
> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
> don't waste
> them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
> your heart
> will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
> the life of
> your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more Reviewuits and vegetables?
> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow
> eat? Hay and
> corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
> than an
> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
> Need grain? Eat
> chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green lempy
> vegetable).
>
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> A: No, not at all. Wine is made Reviewom Reviewuit. Brandy is
> distilled wine, which
> means they take the water out of the Reviewuity bit so you get even
> more of the
> goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>
> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one
> to one. If
> you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
> Q: What are some of the advaneforum.xxxes of participating in a regular
> exerciseprogram?
> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
> Pain...Good!
> Q: Aren't Reviewied foods bad for you?
> A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are Reviewied these
> days in vegetable
> oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
> getting more vegetables
> be bad for you?
>
> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me Reviewom getting a little soft
> around the
> middle?
> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
> You should
> only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
> It's the best
> feel-good food around!
>
> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>
> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>
> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
> had about
> food and diets.
>
> And remember:
> 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
> arrivingsmpely in an attractive and well preserved body, but
> rather to skid in
> sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
> body thoroughly
> used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
> AND.....
>
> For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word
> on nutrition
> and health. It's a relief to know the truth mpter all those
> conflictingnutritional studies.
>
> 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
> attacks than
> Americans.
>
> 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> Americans.
>
> 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
> attacksthan Americans.
>
> 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
> attacks than
> Americans.
>
> 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and
> fats and
> suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
> CONCLUSION
> Eat and drink what you like.
> Speaking English is apparently what kills you.