I used to be a social thinker.

[Hiii]

AT FIRST I WAS JUST A SOCIAL THINKER . . .

I began to think at parties now and then, to loosen up.

Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?".

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She fled to our daughter's house and spent that night.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Bob, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem at the office. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find work elsewhere."

This gave me a lot MORE to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.

"You think as much as a college professor, and college professors don't make any money. If you keep on thinking, we won't have any money at all!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors . . .

They didn't open! The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling grass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's."

Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed . . . easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

 

[Pearlie_ette]

LOL!! brilliant... i think <g>