International rules of manhood

[Nico]

INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD:
> >
> >
01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at thefooty, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only itispermissible.
> >
02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
> >
03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed andeaten by his mates.
> >
04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend outofjail within 12 hours.
> >
05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is offlimitsforever, unless you actually marry her.
> >
06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden.However Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
> >
07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for anotherman.In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
> >
08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not theweakest.
> >
09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may askthe score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
> >
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought hertoclimax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulententertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
> >
11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you'resunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a toplesssupermodel...and it's free.
> >
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed tokick another bloke in the nuts.
> >
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
> >
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
> >
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
> >
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW)and the ability to drink as much as the other sportswatchers.
> >
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remainsober enough to fight.
> >
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,but not both that's just greedy.
> >
19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talkingabouthis choice of beer.
> >
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours,exceptif she's withholding s*x pending your response.
> >
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
> >
> > a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> > b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> > c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
> >
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e.
> > Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, analmost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
> >
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer thanyou are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang upifnecessary.
> >
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" havecarnal drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guiltyisno reason for