Introducing food into lovemaking?

[Tommy Wiseau]

My wife and I have been married for about 25 years and our love only continues to grow. That being said, after 25 years of marital bliss we do feel that our sex life could use a kick. She came home the other day with some whipped cream for a pie she was making and soon we got to talking and she suggested that we use it while making sweet love. We went for it and were taken new sensual heights. We've already used the whipped cream and Bosco sauce and want to expand.

What other liquid/sauce substances work well? I'm a fan of Frank's Red Hot and would love to lick it off her body, but with both of us rolling around in the nude, I'm afraid that some may get into my urethra and cause severe burning. The same issue applies for Miracle Whip and Mountain Dew Pitch Black.

I'd also like to incorporate more solids. If I want to eat a sandwich out of her rear, what kind of bread works best? I prefer Italian but I'm not averse to a marble Rye. And what about ingredients? I've heard that pastrami is the most sensual of the salted cured meats but I'm partial to bologna. I'm also a big fan of bacon-is there any particular orifice that I should eat that out of?

What food creates the most pleasant sound when our bodies come together in the throes of passion? Jello didn't really work too well but chop suey was a pleasant surprise. And where does the potato fit into the equation?

Thanks for your help.

 

[One-Man S!ut]

Bacon and peanut butter, you don't need bread, the buttocks hold it together.

 

[a r]

Either you are 12 years old or quite a freak without his bearings!

 

[ingusmoen]

The first thing you'll want to remember is to keep sugars away from her vagina. They can incite a yeast infection and then nobody has any fun for a while. It sounds like you're having a good time eating off her. Is she eating off you, too?

If you and she enjoy trying other things with food, you may want to walk around the produce section playing, "Do you think that would fit?" For BOTH of you if you're so inclined. Butternut squash is always nice because it has that enlargement on the end to protect it from getting sucked all the way in. Gourds and cucumbers are good standbys. If you want to try something exhilerating, get large pieces of fresh, plump ginger and peel the skin away and try that. The sensation is tingly at first, but can get intense in prolonged situations.

It should go without saying you should throughly wash each other before and after play sessions to make sure you don't have bacteria growing in places you don't want them to.

Glad you two are having such fun!

 

[warneal69]

Personally, I'm a fan of putting rubber sheets on the bed and using an entire gallon of olive oil. Expensive, but definitely worth it.

Oh when you use the potato, make sure its in "french fry" form,...straight out of the fryer. Love means nothing if it doesn't hurt at least a little.

 

[Meso Hoowny]

my wife likes when I try to ram an eggplant up her a$$...