is it healthy for my son to be introduced to his dad who hasent been around

[Evilynn Spenser]

since 2000? my son was born in 1999 and his dad left us in 2000 he never new him my best Friend adopted him as his son along time ago he was about 3 me and him were never thinking about marriage EVER we were Friends thru all my shit and his shit and we got married last year and my 12 year old son still thinks hes his dad we told him who his blood dad was but he dont care he tells us i now who my dad is and he will always be my dad this uther dude i dont give a shit about
now john wwantsto meet his son
how must i deal with this in a smart way
i now this is his son and i now markus when told about him acts like were talking crazy
how do i deal with this for MJs sake

 

[northern mom]

The kid is 12 he can make his own decision LEGALLY, If he wants nothing to do with his Birth father then No body and I mean No body can force him to do anything he doesnt want to do... Tell his father that it is HIS decision and he does not want anything to do with him, and that you cant make him if he doesnt want to.... The child is 12 hes NOT stupid. He knows that your husband is not his "real" dad but to him he is and always will be his DAD!!!!! the other GUY, too little too LATE!!!!!!!!!

 

[nicky]

I'd personally ask him to meet his father (at least once) and decide what he wants to do from there. He has no legal rights to visitation, but I personally think you should encourage your son to be open to having a relationship (of whatever nature he desires) with his birth father. As long as his dad is sane and reasonable trustworthy it'll be easier for them to break the ice at this age. He doesn't have to have a father/son relationship, but knowing who you came from is important to most people as they get older.

 

[Cat]

I think it should be your son's decision. He has a dad he loves, and is aware of the fact that that's not his blood dad. Tell him that his blood dad said that he wants to meet, and ask your son if he wants to meet him too. If your son wants to meet him, go ahead; if he doesn't, tell the blood dad sorry but he doesn't want to meet you.

 

[BlueGrassMomma]

I think the birth father had his chance. Your son is 12 and is very able to make up his mind of what kind of relationship he wants with him, if any. John doesn't need to be in the picture. He had his chance and blew it.
If your son wants to meet him then let him. If he says he doesn't then explain to John that your son doesn't want to and drop it at that.

 

[Granny 1]

If your son has been legally adopted he only has 1 Dad.And it isn't John. Tell him he had his chance and he choose not to take it GOODBYE .period