Pompal 09.
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32 Sure Ways to Find out if Your Neighbour is a Witch!
(no wart-inspection needed! )
Most of her clothes on the washing line are black.
The local kids talk in whispers as they go past her house, then
start running at the last moment.
Nobody trick-or-treats her house; not after the incident when the
kids' costumes were less scary than hers when she opened the door to
them. (She was embracing the Crone that year no doubt!)
She hardly ever gets junk mail. You ask her what her secret is and
she confides that she returns it to sender after writing something
on in strange curly writing.
When you pop next door for a chat, the kettle is always already on.
The Jehovah's Witnesses never call ... not anymore ... not after the
last time.
Footprints on the roof. And the trees in her flight-path have been
pruned down. I swear it's true!
Has a pond full of frogs, and you haven't seen that bothersome
double-glazing salesman around for a while.
Doesn't kill spiders. Not even big hairy long-legged ones that
suddenly appear from the waste-pipe whilst you're having a bath.
You ask her for suggestions for nice walks in the area, and they all
go by way of stone circles and strange earth mounds.
She's always smiling, darn her!
She goes dressed as normal to a Hallowe'en fancy dress party; and
wins first prize.
Has named her four cats Beelzebub, Kali, Diana, and Moonbeam ... or
her rats Devon and Cornwall.
Her bumper sticker reads: I BRAKE 4 TOADS
Frequently gets raided by the drug squad who confiscate large
amounts of dried green leaves; they always return them with
apologies after analysis.
A screech owl has chosen the lamp-post outside her house as its
favorite calling-post. That's just when it's getting warm at night
and you like to sleep with the window open.
She was given a bodhram drum for her birthday. And she plays it at
midnight in the fields. And she's got a blasted tamborine.
You discover that her realistic resin skull ornament in her living
room, actually is real.
You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes.
She wears a lot of silver jewelry, even when doing the gardening.
And bat earrings for goodness-sake.
She has a tame robin that will eat from her hand in the garden. That
can't be natural.
Never catches a cold, even though she walks barefoot most of the
time. In the snow as well.
She listens to what you are saying like she really cares.
She has lots of female friends who come round every few months. When you ask what they get up to, she tells you that they just have cakes
and ale and a good natter.
All the stray cats in the neighbourhood tend to congregate in her
garden ... and use your own as their litter.
You notice that the parish priest crosses himself whenever he walks
past her house.
She makes jars of quince and mandrake relish for the Women's
Institute coffee morning jumble sale.
You ask to borrow a pack of cards for an impromptu bridge evening,
and there are 78 in the pack.
You have
(no wart-inspection needed! )
Most of her clothes on the washing line are black.
The local kids talk in whispers as they go past her house, then
start running at the last moment.
Nobody trick-or-treats her house; not after the incident when the
kids' costumes were less scary than hers when she opened the door to
them. (She was embracing the Crone that year no doubt!)
She hardly ever gets junk mail. You ask her what her secret is and
she confides that she returns it to sender after writing something
on in strange curly writing.
When you pop next door for a chat, the kettle is always already on.
The Jehovah's Witnesses never call ... not anymore ... not after the
last time.
Footprints on the roof. And the trees in her flight-path have been
pruned down. I swear it's true!
Has a pond full of frogs, and you haven't seen that bothersome
double-glazing salesman around for a while.
Doesn't kill spiders. Not even big hairy long-legged ones that
suddenly appear from the waste-pipe whilst you're having a bath.
You ask her for suggestions for nice walks in the area, and they all
go by way of stone circles and strange earth mounds.
She's always smiling, darn her!
She goes dressed as normal to a Hallowe'en fancy dress party; and
wins first prize.
Has named her four cats Beelzebub, Kali, Diana, and Moonbeam ... or
her rats Devon and Cornwall.
Her bumper sticker reads: I BRAKE 4 TOADS
Frequently gets raided by the drug squad who confiscate large
amounts of dried green leaves; they always return them with
apologies after analysis.
A screech owl has chosen the lamp-post outside her house as its
favorite calling-post. That's just when it's getting warm at night
and you like to sleep with the window open.
She was given a bodhram drum for her birthday. And she plays it at
midnight in the fields. And she's got a blasted tamborine.
You discover that her realistic resin skull ornament in her living
room, actually is real.
You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes.
She wears a lot of silver jewelry, even when doing the gardening.
And bat earrings for goodness-sake.
She has a tame robin that will eat from her hand in the garden. That
can't be natural.
Never catches a cold, even though she walks barefoot most of the
time. In the snow as well.
She listens to what you are saying like she really cares.
She has lots of female friends who come round every few months. When you ask what they get up to, she tells you that they just have cakes
and ale and a good natter.
All the stray cats in the neighbourhood tend to congregate in her
garden ... and use your own as their litter.
You notice that the parish priest crosses himself whenever he walks
past her house.
She makes jars of quince and mandrake relish for the Women's
Institute coffee morning jumble sale.
You ask to borrow a pack of cards for an impromptu bridge evening,
and there are 78 in the pack.
You have