Ignoring the previous troublemaker (unless he is REALLY confused about what forum this is), you could get by in TJ with just English if you keep it nice and simple:
After crossing the border take the LEFT exit where all the cabs are, take the
first cab and say "Adelitas." When driving in to the strip (like a 5 min drive) look on the right once you hit the zone (you'll know by all the people) look on the right and you will see where Chicago is. Hand the cab guy $6 ($7 if you feel generous). Walk in to the clubs (they dont check Id or pat you down or take cover at those 2 places). If you're lucky sit down, waiter will ask you for drink... Tecate, Sol, and Dos Eequis (XX) available at both, Corona only at Adelitas I think. Beers are like $3 a pop. If a girl sits with you, you don't have to buy her a drink, but its courtesy to if you like her. Girl drinks are more expensive... I forget how much more, but something like $8-10 I think. Tip the waiter a $1 or 2. Find a girl you like, and after possible negotiation ($60 FS usually nowadays) go next door with her to the short term hotel. Give the lady at the window $12, she will take the chicks purse , give her a towel and condom and the room key. Go to the room, some make you pay right there, do your duty, tip her if you feel like it (you don't need to unless you got SUPER service). Shower up, head back to club and repeat.
When you're done, if you feel like a taco, hit up one of the many stands and get a carne asada or whatever you're into. Usually $1 a taco. Drinks $1 too. When you've had your fill of Asada and Ass, grab any cab in front of the clubs (unless it's a guy in a wifebeater with a patch over his eye in a 82 Honda CVCC spraypainted yellow with a handwritten sign that says "tacksi") and say "border". That should cost you another $6-7. Hop off, make a left towards the big building, buy some chiclet if you feel like it from the kids (2 of my buddies bought dragon shaped "pipes" too, but one got confiscated by immigration..call it a "Figurine" instead of a "bong" if you have to) hop in line, show your license, say you were born in the US, and bam, off to the US you go.
If you stick to that plan, you should be OK. And also, most people down there speak a LITTLE English, with about 20% being almost fluent level. If you get lucky, when you get to Chicago, there is a Paris Hilton looking chick (REAL cool) who speaks really good english. She can probably answer any questions you have, just remember to tip her, buy her drinks, etc.
Let me know if you have any other concerns/questions.
Have Fun Bro! ",
El Dio de la Accupressura