~LIFE~ If life has it's foot on your neck...

[Kim N]

..and will not let go. What should you do?

Just wondering;

• How does one get through this?
• Is there hope?
• Is there a chance of ever recovering?
• when you have reached bottom....Should the sound of someones positive voice, help you?
• and should your family keep pointing out your mistakes, through the years.

I am willing to listen to all answers, good or bad. :-|

 

[Daniel T]

There's always a way out, even if you don't see it yet. The key is to keep thinking that. In self-defense, this is called Victor vs Victim Mindset, but it applies to life just as well.

Furthermore, if you can't do it on your own, don't be ashamed to ask for help. This is a big obstacle for me, btw, as I'm all about the self-reliance. But friends, real friends, will help you and it won't be a burden to them, even if you think it is. Shared pain is halved, shared joy is doubled.

Family (especially Eastern European family, trust me) sometimes has nothing better to do than to point out your past mistakes. They do this to motivate you, but it often has the opposite effect. I'm a different person I was 10-15 years ago, but my grandfather and mother love to point out what I did back then and how they had to bail me out. My solution: Get a different family. Find a Friend, find a Mentor or a Role Model, build a support structure who will not put you down for no reason, but celebrate your victories with you... and slap your head when you deserve it.

Hopefully, my positive voice, or words, have indeed helped.

 

[Cool]

Excellent advice DB.

I had the same family structure; quick to point out your lifes failures and how they stepped in to help you out, even though you didn't ask because you knew there would be no end to the guilt trip.

I was estranged from my family for nearly 15 years and landed myself in all sorts of mayhem before I realized that I would end up dead or in jail and THEN end up dead in there. Another 15 years later and I've been on the sunny side of life with the help of friends but mostly my own determination to set things right and take control of my life and future.

Hang in Ray. We're all here for one common interest, but we're all here to help support our brothers. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.

 

[Joan [RMJF]]

There is always hope if your heart is good. 3 years ago I had no money my GF left me with it I become angry and reflected on my job that fired me because of my attitude. Began drinking heavily, my friends left me because I was a drunk. AA and therapy did not help, 2 years after I met an old friend who made me realize that being angry with myself will kill me in a year or 2. He kept saying positives words to me daily and was with me when I kicked my alcohol problem.

There is hope Ray its all in your mind.

 

[teapot91]

You must do some soul searching Ray. Ask yourself why your family insists on punishing you for your old mistakes, I would stay away from them and do not be around negative people. The 3 members above me have great points and you should carefully listen to them.

 

[sunflower16]

Just when you think its over something better arises. Life is like a roller coaster Rayfinkle have to take your lumps but its never over. You will see tomorrow is a better day have faith in yourself an others.

 

[Mahal]

Ray you are part of this family now so get rid of the one that shits on you.

 

[Ian]

Damn buddy like cooldude said we are your brothers now and will help you get through this. You have been doing wonders for this board a good attribute man. Cannot add more than what Dreamblade said. Stay clear away from your family not good to listen to all the crap.

 

[Lilah]

Remember one thing Ray, we do not pick our parents/family. It is ok to divorce them.

 

[turtle-lover]

Ray, I miss the light hearted funnyman Ray. Don't be down friend, eat a bowl of jello, find a hot little lady and you will feel like a million bucks an hour later.

 

[Shaji K]

Thanks for all the great responses guys, you all helped a little.

Just wanted to point out, dreamblade. Thanks man....I really appreciated your response.


Hope this thread dies off now. Thanks again guys