Light bulb jokes

[Granidiarne]

You've heard loads of them so what about starting a collection? Here's a Budhist one to start:

How many Zen Budhists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one not to change it.

 

[RUDY]

Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are the light bulb.


Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three -- one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change- and not-change it.


Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Tree falling in the forest.

 

[Neo Patrick Harris]

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[Kristy]

Q: How many Family Traditionalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it’s good enough for us!

Q: How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It’s a third degree secret!

Q: How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Let’s see how the Gardnerains do it!

Q: How many solitary witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: If they actually ask ’how many’, drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious.

Q: How many years does it take for a solitary witch to change a lightbulb
A: How long does it take for one to come out of the closet?

Q: How many Native Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four- one to do the work and three to sing the Lightbulb Changing Song.

 

[BannyWiliamila]

Q: How many veg*ns does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: I don't know, but where do you get your protein?


Q: How many veg*ns does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two - one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.


Q: How many vivisectors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None--they don't want you to see what they are doing.


Q: How many veg*ns does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, veg*ns can't change anything.


Q: How many meats eaters do you need to change a lightbulb?

A: None--they'd rather not see how their food is made.

 

[BiGstylin]

LIGHT BULBS

Question: How many Christians does it take to change a light
bulb?


Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.


Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness


Presbyterians:
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.


Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.


Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad.


Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and
seven to say how much they liked the old one better.


Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.


Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are
invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light bulb Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.


Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.
Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.


Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church lighting policy.


Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.


Christian Scientists: Two. One to awaken the other
from the dream that light could ever originate
from a material element.


Amish: What's a light bulb?