Little Leroy

[Jaguar Jones is uncouth]

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His Birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my Birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his Birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your Birthday." Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter #1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my Birthday. I want a red one.
You’re Friend, Leroy

Leroy knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter #2
Dear God,
This is your friend Leroy. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my Birthday.
Thank you.
You’re Friend, Leroy

Leroy knew that this wasn't true either. So he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter #3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my Birthday.
Leroy

Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Leroy wrote a fourth letter.

Letter #4
God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my Birthday. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you,
Leroy

Leroy knew, even if it were true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked as Leroy looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," Leroy's mother told him. Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Leroy went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write his letter to God.

Letter #5
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO.