Mental Health Hotline

[anonymous...]

Mental Health Hotline

* If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay
on the line so we can trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
the mother ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you which number to press.
* If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, no one will answer.
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star key until
a representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
name.
* If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y
press 0 0 0.
* If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If
you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy
to talk to you.
* If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You
won't be crazy forever....Thank you, goodbye. - Anonymous

 

[Top Cat]

Was thinking of this joke while trying to get through to BT, so much so I forget which button to press and ended up in totally the wrong place, the BT menu is enough to make you go running off to the nearest mental health professional!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]

 

[Cold Coffee!!!!]

Hi Hopefull

There's no such thing as coincidence, you know

Try to remember which button(s) you pressed "by mistake" and you'll know which specialist professional to consult, won't you?

Holistic

 

[toekneetries]

oooo you cheeky begger

I was trying to pay my bill over the phone it took the best part of 15 minutes and when I got to the end it told me, "sorry we dont accept this card!!!!!"
So I ended up pressing all the buttons lots of times, that is very revaling isnt it!
After that effort I not only needed a mental health professional but an anger management thearapist[]

 

[smexysexkay]

This is no laughing matter, Hopefull. I have sent you an email with some advice

Holistic