Miffy the dog

[Sidney]

Once upon a time there was a dog called Miffy, and his owner was a publican, so Miffy would wander round the pub, stopping every now and then for a pat or a stroke. He was a friendly dog, always wagging his tail, and he wouldn't hurt a fly.
Then he got old and died.
When he died, everyone was very upset as he had been such a lovely dog, so as a tribute to Miffy, they cut off his tail, stuffed it, and stuck it on the wall. Then they buried Miffy. All this time, Miffy had been floating up to Heaven. But when he got there, because they had cut off his tail, his spirit form didn't have a tail either. So St Peter said:"Look Miffy, you were a fantastic dog, I'd love to let you into Heaven, but you can't come in if you don't have a tail." So Miffy said:"Well, can I have a chance to go back and get it?" So Miffy was given a chance to fetch(geddit? fetch?)his tail, and so he floated back down to earth. He got there at about 1 in the morning, and knocked on the door. His old owner opened the door. "M...M...miffy! It's you!" Miffy quickly explained his predicament, and asked if he could have his tail back.
The owner scratched his head, frowned and said...

















"Sorry mate, I can't retail sprits after midnight!"