More funny insurance statements

[quaz]

More insurance-form statements from drivers explaining the cause of their accident:
*A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
* The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed off the embankment.
* In an attempt to kill a fly I hit a telephone pole.
* I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up and obscured my view, and I did not see the other car.
*I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
* I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble, when my Universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
*As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no STOP sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
*To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck a pedestrian.
* My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
* An invisible car came from nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
* I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat found that I had fractured my skull.
* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side so I hit him.
* I was driving along the highway, when a sad-faced old man stared through my windscreen and slid off the bonnet.

 

[yneflunaimeiuqeje]

A few more from Jasper Carrot:


"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn.
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo.


And possibly the most unbelievable one, but probably very true due to it's source...

"My car got hit by a submarine."

(The Navy informed the wife of a submariner that the craft was due in port. She drove to the base to meet her husband and parked at the end of the slip where the sub was to berth. An inexperienced ensign was conning the sub and it rammed the end of the slip, breaking a section away, causing her car to fall into the water. The Navy paid the compensation claim



Trev