Ninety minutes of ho hum

[rubblyjubbly]

Help! I have a good client who loves my massages. She gets 90 minutes just about every week. The trouble is, we've played around with the order in which I work on her and the parts of the body she wants me to work on and have such a specific routine that now I'm so bored I'm having trouble staying awake. After years of her saying, let's do more on the face and scalp, less on the legs, etc., here's pretty much what we do:

Prone:

Ashiatsu on the back, to the lower lumbar, single footed, light pressure, followed by child's pose with added stretch: 45 minutes

Supine:

[Wash hands]

Work by hand on face, scalp, feet, hands, neck: 45 minutes

No legs, no arms, no glutes. She likes to sleep through her massage, so I don't think adding additional stretches will go over well.

Now I have to add that I went to bed late last night (12:30am is late for me) and made it to my 7am tai chi class. That's about a 2 mile bike ride in each direction. Breakfast was tea and a large apple as my tummy has been a little off. Then a 90 minute massage that I nearly slept through. So.... is it the routine or is it the way my body feels today, or both? How would you handle this sort of routine?

I keep telling myself it's an opportunity to play around with new strokes but she is petite and very overweight, so for example, there's not much neck to work with. OH! and no touching the toes, she's very ticklish.

Don't get me wrong... she's a great client, I like her a lot. I'm just so bored with her massage. She's the only client I have that I feel this way about. I hesitate to bring this up with her. Over the years she has been happily suggesting things to the routine and has been delighted that she feels comfortable enough with me to basically design the massage. It's very much her baby.

Today I actually shorted her by 10 minutes. I just couldn't stand to do 5 more minutes on her back without nodding off and risk falling off the table. Then I justified cutting another 5 minutes off the supine work. I told her I owed her 10 minutes as soon as I came back in the room after she got dressed. When she asked why I said my timing was just off today. She said she wouldn't have even known if I hadn't told her. I knew that but wanted her to know I would make it up to her. She waved it off saying she was sure I had gone overtime by more than 10 minutes on previous sessions. I nodded and accepted it as a wash. So that takes care of today. What about next time? Ideas?

One more detail... after the massage I immediately crashed into heavy sleep for two hours. Woke up much refreshed.

 

[justmeh1987]

hi, sally. i can relate. when i worked at a salon and spa, we had a lady who came in every week, for a 90 minute massage. she favored a particular therapist, when he left, she started sessions with me.
she was elderly (in her early 70's), had osteoporosis, extreme kyphosis in T-spine, and extremely fragile skin below the knee. (she would sometimes have broken skin, or it would break while she was on the table, because sometimes there was blood on the sheet.) i will say she was active, she went swimming every day (EXTREME kyphosis in T-spine) and she gardened every day. so, from the knee up, what to do for 90 minutes every week, with her in such a fragile condition? she dozed through the entire session, when i would re-drape a limb, she would wake up, say "oh that's great." every limb, every time. sometimes she would talk about her garden, or sometimes her family. mostly she just slept.
sometimes i would close my eyes, and just kind of "doze" while working on her. i could get real sleepy in that 90 mins. i don't know how busy you are in your practice (from some of your posts, i assume you ARE busy), but when i was in the salon, it could be one extreme to the next, extremely busy or extremely slow and boring. but, week to week i could count on that client. she would show up on time, tip, and rebook. i appreciated the consistency and i started to just appreciate the time with her to slow down. it was a nice break from a busy day. even if i was bored with the sessions sometimes, she wanted to relax and pamper herself and she really loved it. we were both consistent with each other. so that was what was important.

it sounds like since you practice a couple of different modalities that you can really switch up your sessions. are there some techniques you learned along the way, but maybe don't use all the time, that you can start incorporating into your sessions with her? sometimes when i go through my old workshop books and school manuals, i run across something i forgot about since we did it in class, and it is always fun to start using a forgotten tool.

 

[ROCK ON]

OMGosh, I can relate too. I have a client who is in his sixties who's been coming to me weekly for almost 3 years now.

He's got a plate in his neck, total hip replacement, no trapezieus bones in his hands ?? (due to an accident years ago) and just so many other issues I'm not going to mention. Plus the fact that he's always got major injuries, broken ribs, huge black and blue marks etc. He seems to be accident prone. Plus, he's got a low blood platelet level count.

When I ask him how he's feelin each week, he tells me "Terrible, awful..."- you get the picture.

I feel limited like you do because of all these issues, but you kow what? He loves my massages!

He looks forward to the sessions, talks about his family and relaxes. I felt like, what the heck else am I going to do for this man?

But every week, I give him the best treatment I can - and he pays me and tips me well! He's happy. She's happy-
You're giving your client what she wants, and you should feel happy that she can ask you for it! I bet she feels empowered when shes on your table!

 

[waverunner]

Sally,

I'm thinking that the way you were feeling was a big part of how you were feeling today. Is your client open to you working on her legs, glutes and arms? Perhaps you can tell her you feel as if you are cheating parts of her body out of some good treatment. Of course, if she's ticklish...then the feet might not be such a good idea.

I vote for digging out some of the techniques you haven't used in a long time and incorporating them to help make it more interesting.

It sounds as if you need to be more present in the session. I think the way you were feeling today may have been a hindrance. What about "looking" more closely at her muscles with you hands and feet....really paying attention and checking on how they are feeling. Maybe have a conversation with the muscles as you are going along "Hello there erectors. How are you feeling today? Oh, boy, a little tension here. Perhaps you want me to go a little slower in this area?" All of this silently in your head of course so your client can sleep or whatever she does. But, it may help you to stay more interested and pay closer attention.

I have some clients who like the same thing all the time. They know what to expect and it helps them to relax and let go and trust. If I use some new techniques, they perk up a bit and feel they have to pay attention and are wondering what I'm going to do next and are wondering if they are going to like it. For these clients, I have learned to do the boring routine unless they specifically say they need something different that day.

In the end, it's about the client and whether they are happy. Yes, we like to feel fulfilled, but if she just wants the same boring thing, then that's what she should get.

 

[Jack]

Ninety minutes of ho hum

One more detail... after the massage I immediately crashed into heavy sleep for two hours. Woke up much refreshed.

This stood out for me. Is there any chance that you're having problems with your blood sugar levels? When I 1st developed diabetes but before I was diagnoised, this happened to me a lot. It was all I could do to stay awake for some of my massages. I would go home, crash on the couch (couldn't even make it to the bed) and fall in to a deep sleep.

Once I got my sugar levels back into a normal range, this went away.

Angie

 

[Boyba Power!]

I've been there too. I focus mainly on relaxation, so sometimes it's too dang relaxing for me.........
Are you by any chance a singer? I've had someone sing during my massage (I was the recipient) and it was so wonderful and relaxing to listen to. (I'm not a singer, but used to have a terrible time staying awake while commuting long distance, and so would sing to maintain alertness.)
When I'm sleepy I keep a bottle of water in the room with me. Ordinarily I would never drink during a session, but if it's a choice between falling asleep during the session, or grabbing a swig of water on my way round the table, I do the latter. I also do deep breathing when I'm getting sleepy. The extra oxygen sometimes helps.
Savannah

 

[Jen Davies Farts A Lot!]

It sounds as if you need to be more present in the session. I think the way you were feeling today may have been a hindrance. What about "looking" more closely at her muscles with you hands and feet....really paying attention and checking on how they are feeling. Maybe have a conversation with the muscles as you are going along "Hello there erectors. How are you feeling today? Oh, boy, a little tension here. Perhaps you want me to go a little slower in this area?" All of this silently in your head of course so your client can sleep or whatever she does. But, it may help you to stay more interested and pay closer attention.

Ha, I do that all the time! I've actually described to some clients how I have little conversations with their muscles or limbs, most often when it's silently "convincing" a part of them to leg go, like a joint, or just a really tight spot. "It's all right, you can let go, I've got you, I'll wait for you patiently to let go; there you go, nice job, doesn't that feel nice?"

Today I had kind of the opposite problem of a session being boring, sort of. I went into somewhat of a trance while I was massaging the arm of a regular client, but not because I was bored, because was focusing on doing long flushing type venous-return movements to get the fluid moving, while balancing her arm so she didn't have to hold it up...I guess I was in "the zone." I probably should have had some water with me like Savannah Bloom suggested, I got dizzy toward the end. But anyway, I was in the arm zone and literally jumped when my client broke the silence and spoke, something about lending me some CD's to add to my massage music.

I don't know, I often like those simpler sessions as much as the complicated interesting ones; it becomes a meditation of sorts, and as long as my mind isn't wandering to external problems or life issues, then it wanders nicely to just...energetic stuff. Again, that might just be the dehydration talking, I thought I was going to faint at the very end propping myself upright after kneeling for facial work!
(Taking a big gulp of water now...)

 

[kILLER mike]

Today I had kind of the opposite problem of a session being boring, sort of. I went into somewhat of a trance while I was massaging the arm of a regular client, but not because I was bored, because was focusing on doing long flushing type venous-return movements to get the fluid moving, while balancing her arm so she didn't have to hold it up...I guess I was in "the zone." I probably should have had some water with me like Savannah Bloom suggested, I got dizzy toward the end. But anyway, I was in the arm zone and literally jumped when my client broke the silence and spoke, something about lending me some CD's to add to my massage music.

I've actually found myself doing that too... I had that happen just the other week. Startled us both because I was in the "zone" I try not to let myself get quite that far, but every once in awhile I do. *shrug*

We both chuckled and said I was just concentrating on her muscles.

 

[hubby]

Thank you everyone. Loads of great suggestions here! I am focusing on making sure I am properly fueled (fed) and hydrated before I go into a massage and will keep a glass of water handy. I don't have any problem at all taking a moment or two to drink water.

The tips for staying present are also greatly appreciated. These are all things I used to do, but as time passes, I forget. Good reminders!

 

[kimmie2005hhs]

So a couple of things stand out to me. If I understand correctly, the client is rather controlling about the routine that has been established. Yes, she's really nice and you like her a lot AND there's an element of control present which stands out to me as the subtext. Secondly, you were completely wiped out after that session. Sure, maybe your nutrition that morning was less than you needed as well as your sleep, so your state going in was not ideal. But I think that just amplified an already existing issue.
I have noticed that when clients are rather controlling/controlled about the content of the session, it can lend to an energy that may feel draining for the practitioner.
There really may not be much you can do outwardly or feel comfortable saying to her about this, but what you CAN do is monitor your own energetic state. When this happens for me, I make it a point to run my energy more vertically. The client is horizontal, and when we get tired we can find ourselves in a more horizontal energetic state WITH them, which is tiring in and of itself, and doesn't allow us to be as perceptive in most cases. Sounds like you "fell in" with her.

Hope this makes some sense...

 

[? Nut Nut ?]

I don't want to hijack the thread, but I laughed in agreement at Seebs' comment! I have done that quite a few times. It scares the crap out of both of us!! :

 

[ruth]

barefoot -

I can't say anything for sure since I am not your client, but if I had a client such as yours, I would consider that she may be dealing with trauma on some level, which could be why she wants a controlled, specific session. If this is in fact the case, first, I would not ask her directly, just consider the implications yourself as a therapist. Second, I would be reluctant to try anything "new" or change things with her without her consent, as such changes may trigger an emotional response that neither of you want to trigger. And if this is the case, it could also explain why you as a therapist feel so drained after working with her.
Even though you really like her and think she is a nice woman, you may want to consider referring her to someone else if you cannot continue to provide the sessions she needs - it would say nothing negative about you as a therapist or her as a client. Sometimes relationships simply need to evolve.

 

[kLeigh]

Well, I've had controlling clients in the past, but I wouldn't put her in that category at all. She's been a client for 3 years or more and it wasn't until I had seen her for over a year that she finally made a request about the way the session went. She's also been open to suggestions from me. We've tried starting supine, starting prone, starting with the face and scalp, ending with the face and scalp, working on the legs, skipping the legs... for a while there it was a different massage every time! Once we had the routine the way she liked it, about a year ago, it rarely changes. She prefers we skip her legs unless she has been working out to the point that they're sore, then the legs are included.

I just think that with her petite stature and so many areas that she wanted me to skip, 90 minutes ended up seeming like a long time, especially since I wasn't in top form.

It's funny, I can easily go 15 minutes over on a 60 minute massage when I do full body with at least medium pressure. But ask me to do 90 minutes of light pressure on selected parts of the body and I have to stretch to do it.

 

[MJsLiberianGirl]

It's funny, I can easily go 15 minutes over on a 60 minute massage when I do full body with at least medium pressure. But ask me to do 90 minutes of light pressure on selected parts of the body and I have to stretch to do it.

:iagree:

I'm actually relieved to hear others have the same problem!!!!

 

[Reporter]

Well, I've had controlling clients in the past, but I wouldn't put her in that category at all.

I apologize if my initial post suggested categorizing clients, because I didn't mean it that way at all.

I have recently been reminded myself that it is impossible for anyone to know the whole story of another human being, and that the best we can do is meet each person where they are in this moment and be present with them. Just sharing the reminder that has come my way as maybe it will be useful to someone else.

Namaste dear friends.

 

[Bernie R]

Every client is different in my eyes and I enjoy hearing their stories.

 

[Judas Jones II]

Boredom during doing a massage is an interesting topic. I have had a client for 20 years who comes 2x a week for an hour and a half massage. I guess at times I have been bored but now I look so forward to the sessions.

There is a great quote In The Heart of The Soul, Gary Zukav says, "Boredom is a flight from what is important. Like workaholism and perfectionism, it is a way of distracting yourself from inner experiences. It occurs when you look outward and do not find anything to engage your attention. Instead of feeling your emotions - becoming aware of the functioning of your energy system - you become bored. Boredom ... is a flight from your higher potential. It is fear of the transformation that wants to occur, and will occur in you, when you explore your emotions. It is your resistance to spiritual growth."

Julie

 

[Deadhead Incognito]

Ninety minutes of ho hum

I wanted to thank anyone who posted on this post I enjoyed reading it.

http://www.reikimassages.com

 

[michelle]

Ninety minutes of ho hum

I know the feeling as well. I find that I get bored and drained when some one want a full body relaxtion massage. I founf this was a real problem when I worked for other poeple bc you can't pick and choose who you want. So know that I am on my own I only offer Deep Tissue and I found the type of music makes a huge differnce also. I just can't listen to "SPA" music it really put me to sleep. I like the "Pure Moods" they have some very interesting New Age music that my clients really seem to like bc it is so intersting to listen too

 

[texas]

Ninety minutes of ho hum

Maybe you should simply try using new techniques with the same basic routine. Surprise your client with some new moves, stretches, etc!

I had someone ask me "Don't you get bored doing the same massages every day?"
I was so surprised I blurted out "I NEVER give the same massage twice!! Did you know that there hundreds of massage techniques that were created all over the world, and that I can incorporate several different styles together on one part of the body, the whole body, or just one tight spot on the body! Every client has a different body, different restrictions, different needs, and I couldn't possible come up with ONE massage that could cover all those bases!!!)

Oh I guess some people think massage comes canned.. :grin: