No sex in 8 months..Is getting a massage with tantric included really that wrong?

[alcor69_69]

Ok..so we just had a baby two months ago, and my wife and I have not had sex in 8 months at this point because she is not ready. I get no attention now, for obvious reasons, she won't leave the house, and I am socially and physically starved at this point. I need something. I was going to go to go get a massage and I noticed there are places that do tantric massages in addition to the standard. I am not talking about sex, just a little extra attention..and I am really tempted. I would never cheat on her..but I don't know..this is an option if I could just let my morals slide a little. Either this or a gentlemens club and a private dance. I need something....
We have been together for 8+ years and I have always been 100% faithful.
As to the legalities someone mentioned. Rhode Island, allows anything as long as it is indoors...a lot more than just tantric massages. Perfectly legal in that state..
For those that have been telling me to use my hands..well lets say I have good callaces and this computer is for more than Yahooanswers these days.
Ugg..I don't know.
Thor..your answer makes the most sense so far. You see it from my perspective I think.
As to the women out here who think I am an awful man...you have no idea. I would estimate about 60%-70% of men cheat, and by that I mean sex. I have been 100% faithful we began in 2001.

 

[thor]

well i know what you mean for lack of sex but you have to remember she just pushed out a baby maybe she fells things will be awkward like loose or something talk to her see whats going on you will only add to your problems if you step out of line once touching leads to excitement excitement leads to cheating why risk the things perishes to you

 

[A Husband with Needs]

I've been trying to talk my wife about our mis-matched sex drives for the past two months to no avail. I'm with you - you gotta have something. Too bad you missed sex with your preggo wife - that's the best. We went a few months after the two kids each before - but then we would only have sex like every other month anyway - so it was kinda the norm anyway. Now that she is fully aware of my sex drive and self satisfaction habits, she feels "obligated" to keep me from looking at porn. So it's up to more like every other week. I can start to feel my libido leaving me now - I'm starting to give up.

I was thinking about it some more the other day - a well fed (nutritionally) person doesn't worry about or beg for his meals. He just gets them - sometimes more sometimes less - but you know what I mean. The same applies to sex - well sexed people are happy - they don't beg - they don't worry if it's been longer than usual - they don't beg - cause they know that the next time's coming. The other partner takes their appetite into consideration and feeds them. It's bullshit that yours and my wives don't seem to care about our needs.

i'd be for gentelmens clubs - no sweat. Massage might be pushing the limit a little too far...

 

[kitty]

I am assuming you are typing this with your hands? Take care of that urge yourself ....at home and then talk to your wife. Going outside of your marriage for pleasure is only going to make things worse.

 

[ILOVEU]

tell her that you NEED sex or that you need attention otherwise if you dont get it from her you are going to go mad and do something really wrong like cheat on her and you really dont want to do it with someone else so she must help you

 

[KrispyKreme]

, your only option in a marriage is to be honest. Counseling,

what are you talking about...justifying your needs by saying you need something? It is a real adjustment for everyone when kids come along...and they deserve your undivided attention...eight months is really not long...

try something romantic, or talk to her and ask her what is going on inside her?

 

[nonya]

she just had a baby she might not be comfortable with her body yet as a woman we go through a lot of changes mentally and physically and we also get stressed and sleep deprived the best thing is get a baby sitter and make her feel wanted a warm bath, massage, a nice dinner and hopefully she will be relaxed enough and stress free and you might get lucky. I would also tell her whats on your mind what a relationship without honesty and freedom of speech she is past the 6 weeks after having a baby so she should be ready. In all just give her some extra attention tell her shes beautiful if all else fails your hands do work! Some guys don't like to masturbate but its better than cheating or the strip club you don't want to loose your wife or child over this just take your time she might have really lost her sex drive being stressed or depressed. Their can be a lot wrong that shes not telling you i think its called post partum depression I had that with both of my kids its hard on a woman.

 

[GSXR GIRL]

You really should just talk to her about how you feel. Perhaps she will come around to please you.

 

[B*tchKitty]

Mister, you never know what you might do under pressure--until it comes.

Why risk something you're not willing to lose on something that can NEVER be worth the loss?

 

[BabeHart]

Ask her if it's okay. If she says no, then make it clear to her the lack of sex is an issue and you're not willing to wait indefinitely for some sexual attention.

She could at least use her hands or mouth to help satisfy you, even if she's not up to intercourse. Keep it all above board or go ahead and end the marriage and move on...because I can pretty much guarantee you that if you start foolin around elsewhere (on any level) you'll be needing a divorce lawyer anyway.

Fix the problem or leave the relationship...cheating just makes you a crap human being and will end up ending the relationship anyway. Why have to deal with that karma?

 

[?Invisible Pink RN?]

A tantric massage would be considered cheating in my book