An Octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical instrument you like"
Englishman gives him a guitar which he playes better than Hendrix.
Irishman gives him a piano which he plays better that Elton.
Scotsman throws him a set of bag pipes, The Octopus fumbles
about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman says "What's wrong
- can ye no play it?' The Octopus says 'Play it? - I'm gonna s**g her
brains out once I get her pyjamas off" !!