Only in South Africa....

[Your Mom]

Basic Rules for Driving in South Africa.
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real South African driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in South Africa during rush hour.
8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a South African driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
10. Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of the high- speed slalom driving thanks to the Traffic Dept., which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
11. It is traditional in South Africa to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green.
12. Remember that the goal of every South African driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
13. In South Africa, "flipping someone the bird" is considered a polite South African salute. This gesture should always be returned

 

[grizzly]

That was funny! Change it to "South Florida" and it applies as well. Good one queen!

 

[lv69442]

South Africa is a great country because:

1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting. (biltong)

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

4. You can experience bad service in eleven official languages.

5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show;
how angry they are by dancing.

7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

8. Great accent. (!!!)

9. If you live in Johannesburg/Cape Town, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.

10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.

11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.
The police you have to call about three times.

13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

16. When a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled

19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks

 

[SexiiShelly]