Ooh La La Spa (Yoko) - A first timer's tale.

[Beefy Cheeks]

So let me preface this by saying I've never had any sort of SP or MP experience. I've always gotten pretty horny thinking about it but today I finally took the jump and randomly found a MP advertising young new koreans (!!!) through the classifieds in the paper: Ooh La La Spa.

I called ahead (10:30am) and got a not-so-pretty asian voice on the other end. "Wuh?"
"Hi, what are your rates?"
"Foety fo' heff.er and fiffy fo' foety fie min. What tie you cuh?"
"About 12"
"Tank you! ^^"

So I putzed around Calgary for a bit, withdrew some cash, got a small bite to eat at the McDonald's conveniently close to their location ***edited by Olmac***. The fries were fucking delicious.

To tell you the truth, I had butterflies in my stomach and was a little nervous. Not sure why, but I get a little anxious about new experiences. The bathroom smelled like a diseased hobo who pissed himself. In the reeking, piss-covered McDonald's bathroom I splashed a little water in my face, popped a piece of Dentyne Ice and manned up. It was time!

I drove around the corner and parked. The building was one of those office professional types, but it smelled stale inside. Oh, and there's a bar downstairs, yay!

I found the place on the second floor, and walked in. Smelled like massage oils and scented candle. The walls were sparse, but the lighting was nice and it was clean. Random "massage parlor" nick-nacks all over the place to give it a feel. Nice. A little sparse but it looked legit.

Yoko greeted me in the main lobby and quickly said hi. She was wearing a white robe with cool hooker-esque heel boots and nettings. Her hair is medium length and dark, her face is unremarkably Korean but very pretty (imo), she's got a small build and cute frame and I didn't really catch her height (heels, nerves, etc.) proper. Her tits? Smallish but.. well I'll get to those. She led me into a room, smiled, waved her hand, and then left the room without saying anything.
The door was still open. I close it.

What the fuck do I do? I guess I undress myself. Do I get completely naked or is that rude? They need a fucking guidebook!
I get undressed down to my sexy black undies (w00t!) and lay down on the massage table face down. The music is soothing and asian.. I start to drift off after a whole 30 seconds..
*door opens*
"How long you stay?"
"Uhh.. 30 minutes."
"40 please! ^_^!!" *cute smile*

I go back to my pants and grab her 40 bucks from my wallet and then lay down again. "Take off okay?"
I get up and I start to take my undergarment off and as I do, I cover myself up and she covers her mouth and giggles at me. I ask "What?" She says "Shy!!"

LOL.

I lay down and Yoko asks me what I want. I ask her what she offers and what the rates are and she says "Everffing." 1bill for HJ, 1.4 for BJ, and didn't hear what FS costs. I settle with the HJ and go back to my wallet (again) for 60 bones. Nope. Gotta get her the whole 100 more. Fuck. Really? That's how it works?! Get dressed, go downstairs, go into my car, grab my cash (just had enough, thankfully, though there's an ATM in the bar downstairs) and hurry back.

She leads me back into the room, takes my offering, and leaves the room. Door wide open. Again.
I close it.

She comes back in with a smile on her face and closes the door (thankfully - I'm awkward enough!) .. she starts the massage, working out some kinks and doing the norm, but frankly it was pretty weak. She's not the best masseuse IMO, but it did seem like she was trying so that's points. We talk, I learn that she's got an accounting certificate in Korea, lived in Singapore for 5 years, and that she's 24. She knows some japanese, some mandarin, and very little english. The conversation was natural and soothing even though she was definitely having a hard time with english. A+ in that respect.

This goes on for about 15-20 and then she starts to rub my back smoothly and softly. That was nice. If I was a cat I'd have purred. She works her way to between my cheeks (!!! - it was great though) and starts me up with gentle caresses to my junk. 2 minutes of that pass and she asks me to turn around and then she takes off her top.

Damn it. Why did she do that? Her boobs aren't big, but the bra she was wearing was very fitting and sexy on her (oh - almost forgot - the lingerie she was wearing was red and lacy. mmmm!). Now her small boobs come out and I notice her nipples are little long and .. well .. you know.. not the smoothest.

But I'm hard and she's going at it, so I can't say no, and wasn't repulsed or anything like that. She says I'm so big, etc, but I joke that she says that with everyone and the mood is lighthearted and still sexy. She props herself onto the table and starts to grind my leg while using both hands, playing with everything, and giving me a really good HJ. I finish and more jokes about how many babies I could probably have (I don't shoot lots or anything), etc.

We chat while we clean up and she sits beside me and we chat some more.. so it didn't feel rushed or anything. I liked that.
She says thanks, runs out of the room and tells me to have a great day etc!


All in all it was very enjoyable, but too pricey. $140 for a lackluster massage, good conversation, and a really good (not great) tug isn't worth it. Won't be going back because I'm sure I can find something cheaper (right? guys?) to relieve myself from time to time. And I will.. even though I'm happily committed to my GF, that was fun and relaxing.

 

[The_Living_End]

Hahaha, entertaining review, that is too expensive, do some research here and you will find much better VFM, or for a few more greens, get a REAL experince.

Thanks for posting your experience.

Jaymark

 

[I pity duh Tardlings]

Thanks for posting your funny review. I am sure everyone at some point in time ended up in a room like that wondering how much of their clothes to take off. I especially love it in places like Mirage Massage where they simply go down on their knees and slowly remove your underwear for you. Takes the guesswork out of things.

What you experienced is pretty much the going rate in Calgary for a generally lackluster experience. There aren't many good options and lots and lots of terrible ones. So you did okay for a first time. There are also a few stars like Mia and Selina who are worth the wait to see.

I never go to those generic asian jack shacks anymore, it's never any more than a marginal experience and I always feel a little ripped off at the end.

 

[Ashley .]

Very entertaining, the one thing I found with the oriental Parlours is no matter what the service I'm Horny in an hour....

great read though...Thanks

Bdogz!

 

[RosieB-x]

Doh!

That sounds like an adventure. As the boys mentioned, there is what many consider to be better VFM elsewhere. I know a place where for ten bucks more you could get 2 showers and get lucky with any one of a number of EXTREMELY fit young Korean girls. But you will just have to figure out where that is ...

 

[Elle Z]

WTF you posted the address of the place in your review .....do you like to just offer up providers to LE

Humourous review yes but get wise and dont post locations....I do hope a MOD cleans up this mess fast for the sake of the provider.

Red

 

[DC Chillin]

Whats the big deal Red? They advertise it, I googled it and not only got the address, phone number, fax number, but handy little map. Not like LE can't do the same.

Its not like an SP working out of her house, apartment or hotel. It's a registered business.

 

[Dawn]

Better to be safe than sorry

Red

 

[i_been_jammin]

You might as well not be posting names of girls or businesses in that case. Not a biggy, but I can see the worry. ^^

Cheers!

 

[neil the grey wolf]

they had a cute one a while back who was extremely hot but like a cold fish in the ways of service

what an ass though,mmmm

but shitty service is the rule of the day there

 

[Ana]

I stopped in there for a half hour shitty massage and expensive 40 hh then 140 nude bj.Think said name was yuko. Will not be back.